Insensitive? Who, Me?

My dear wife seems to think that I am insensitive to the special issues of overweight people. Or fixated on them. Or maybe it's just a latent need to vilify me in her blog.

I keep telling her that weight doesn't matter as much as fitness, but that seems to get overlooked. At her gym, they track weight lost and inches lost. So I know these measurements are important to her and the group she exercises with. Tracking them are useful if the goal is to lose body mass, but weight gain or loss by itself is not a good measure of fitness (No, I am not saying that those are all she pays attention to). I have told her on several occasions that I would rather she gain weight and add inches ... as long as she keeps improving her fitness. She does track body fat, which is useful. In my own exercise regimen, I track improvement in flexibility, strength and aerobic capacity. Right now my goal is conditioning with a focus on firming the tummy. Alas, the tummy ... probably a life-long endeavor ... but I digress.

In public, I see irresponsible and indulgent actions around me and question them. Call me a jerk for making assumptions if you must... I see men and women, adults and kids. Especially parents and kids and the use of junk food and treats as rewards and the use of treats to placate bad behavior. I see the impulsive, indulgent, and consumptive motivators in our society and question the intelligence of it. I question why healthy eateries struggle and go out of business while McDonalds and Ice Cream shops spring up all around us. Am I somehow immune to all this? Hell no!

Yes, it is personal to me. I know that it takes concerted effort and discipline to eat healthily and exercise healthily. To become fit and stay fit. To not give in. If we cook for ourselves there is the added expense of time and effort, if we eat out there is the added $ cost, large portions, scarcity of healthy selections and general lack of nutritional info to begin with. I am used to others shrugging off my efforts as me somehow being blessed. How lucky I am to have my metabolism. Yeah, right... As if I were destined to forever be in good shape without effort.

You see, in my family heritage there is a history of putting on weight with the years. Both sides of the family have the "pot-bellied friar" tendency for the guys and "plump double-chin Rubenesque" for the gals. My dad, a college football player and ex-army is a good sized guy to begin with. But with his appetite and the lifestyle changes that came with a desk job and marriage with kids, for the first 10 years or so of my youth he gained weight. Muscle gave way to bulk. By the time he hit the low 200s he was obviously out of shape. Then came the years of diet and exercise. Now that he is retired, his weight is on the rise again. To give you a perspective, my Dad, uncle and aunt cannot comfortably fit in automotive seat belts today.

I have a daughter that is almost 10. My dad's scenario could easily be mine to deal with today. Today!

Call it insensitive or a fixation, but I don't want to get like that. I don't think my wife wants me to get like that, and I don't want my wife getting like that.

Healthy diet is important. But as I've said many times before, most so-called diets are focused on weight loss and do it in unhealthy ways. I grew up with 4 sisters. I've witnessed dietary weirdness close up.

No, I am not singling out overweight people. Or those with eating disorders. I question lots of things I observe. Like those people we see always scowling or workaholics or people that always seem to need to be victims... But again, I digress.

I sympathize, empathize, and support people that strive to reach worthy goals. I can directly relate. Seriously, my goal is not to mock or belittle. I know it is difficult to counter even the natural appetites and cravings present in every human. But I have also learned to put results and actions before words. I have had the fortune to support people overcoming alcohol, drug, and temper problems.

So if I seem critical of what I observe ... I am. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, I'm going to call it a duck. My apologies to penguins that look, sound, and act like ducks.

While critical, I do also keep my assumptions in mind. Yes, the out of shape overweight woman my wife and I saw at the grocery just this last weekend who had only a large package of ice cream sandwiches and fresh filled pastries in her cart may just be getting those for her husband and kids before she gets fresh vegetables and weight watchers for herself or a zillion other scenarios ... but most likely it just might be what it appeared to be...