The Christmas Lights Are Up

My youngest daughter helped me put up the lights. After they were up, I let her climb the ladder far enough to look up on the roof. Don't worry Mom, she and I were extra careful.

Where Did It Go

Alas, where did the year go. In retrospect, it was a year of good times and of some not so good. Of many blessings and of many trials. At the beginning of the year I was very busy with 2 startup ventures. One fizzled and the other bogged down a bit and is just recently showing promise again. This is my third year without a paycheck job, my second year making less money than my dear wife, and my first year where I made less than I spent. So I am looking to 2006 with some trepidation. I know that this has been stressful on my dear wife, and I do appreciate her standing by her "unemployed" "entrepreneur" husband.

Seasonal Charity

At shopping malls I see the holiday charity solicitors. My response to them is that we have already given a lot this year. I think about all the people who have given so much and helped those who were less fortunate. It certainly was a year with plenty of opportunity to help others.

At the Gym

There are a couple of cuties at my gym. And some good looking women too. I don't know why it is, but when I see guys overly caught up in fashion or image I question their ... sensibility. I question some of the women too. The ones who primp and bath in perfume before working out. But the guys.... yeah, I know, don't be too judgmental before you get to know them.

I work out in the morning. I've found that morning workouts mean needing extra time to warm up. It also creates more opportunity to socialize. There are a lot of retired folk who work out when I do in the mornings and I've established a good rapport with their group. They have so many stories to tell. Lessons to pass on. Perspectives to share. Alas, it is inspiring finding a sense of community at the local health club.

Daughter Motivation

There is an old motivational story about a circus strong man. In his act he lifted a fully grown cow. He was asked how he got strong enough to lift a cow. He replied that he started with a calf and just lifted it every day until it grew up.

My daughters like to climb on Dad ... I guess I'm destined to get stronger. They are also growing up more than physically ... a whole other set of challenges.

We got their school progress reports and had teacher meetings. So far, we're doing pretty darn good; my wife and I! There were no surprises, and while progress reports reflect directly on the kids, it reflects indirectly on our efforts. Kudos DW!

Make It Stop Already!

The day after Thanksgiving I noticed our neighbors putting up holiday lights and decorations. Now I know it is generally accepted that the day after Thanksgiving starts the Christmas / festive holiday season. About a third of the neighborhood had their lights and decorations up before the weekend was over. I'm not faulting them at all. I'll be joining them soon.

But then I went into a couple of stores after the weekend that were playing Christmas music. Non-stop. Ack! With 4 weeks to go? Make it stop already! I talked to one retail worker who told me that, yup, the company supplies the music for the stores and it was company policy. The day after Thanksgiving they have to play it. My sympathy goes out to anyone who works in such an environment.

My dear wife and I were "entertained" by the many stories of day-after Thanksgiving shopping riots. There were innumerable stores opening at 5:00 AM the Friday after Turkeyday with limited quantities of bargain items to entice people in. For example, Best Buy advertised 10 discounted laptop computers per store for something like $700. My wife wanted one, but just thinking of being in a store line that early makes us yawn. So come Friday we heard the stories of people getting trampled, getting into fights, assaulting employees, police being called.

I later spoke with one lady about this and her comment was "What gets into people?". For me it is clear... "What gets into retailers?". The reprehensible customer behavior was encouraged. The stores set up a competition and race. Whomever grabbed and hung onto one of the golden items got the bargain. Customers got up early and waited in a cold, dark, uncomfortable lines to get their shot at a sale item. Now, I don't want to give anyone ideas, but this sounds to me like it has the makings of a great reality show. The manipulation of consumer greed at its finest. My solution is also simple. Either guarantee that everyone waiting at 5:00 gets one of the items (or a voucher for one) or arrange a lottery style distribution so that they can eliminate the "out-a my way, it's mine, I grabbed it first" aspect. Irresponsible marketing...

Tis the Season

We've started watching those obligatory holiday movies. Or maybe I should say counter-holiday movies. You know the ones... The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Addams Family, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Gremlins, Trading Places...

Rosie, Rosie...

I saw this one and rolled in laughter:

"Blaming guns for Columbine is like blaming spoons for Rosie O'Donnell being fat."

You have to understand the context ... Rosie is an anti-gun advocate who has stated that guns should be banned completely ... while she has armed guards to protect herself. You also have to understand that the guns used at Columbine were all obtained illegally. Maybe Rosie should give up her gunmen, pulpit ... and spoons.

Bridezilla On The Rampage

I mentioned a while ago that my dear wife had been invited to be a bridesmaid at a friends wedding in mid 2006. She agreed. Then the changes and special requests started. The first change was a big one that set the tone. The bride moved the wedding from the original location (a very nice church about an hour drive from here) to Hawaii (an appreciably longer and more expensive trip for our family of four). Now there is talk of expensive makeup professionals, coordinating early arrival and helping out with preparations...

All my wife has to do is mention the woman's name, and I'm ready with "What's Bridezilla up to now...".

If you google the term Bridezilla you will get over 100,000 hits. Loads of anecdotal descriptions of selfish, controlling and downright hard to believe behavior.

"Bridezilla (brid zil/a) n. a bride who is greedy, thoughtless and rude, thinks nothing of etiquette and believes her friends and family should cater to all of her desires, no matter how outrageous."

And the latter part is proving true - making me wonder, with about a half year to go, what's next?

Peanut Butter and Matching Socks

My eldest daughter announced that she doesn't like nutty peanut butter. She wants the creamy stuff. Imagine that! Quite a rebellious position to take in our house. But that isn't all. Not only did her socks match each other today, but they matched her other clothes. No color cacophony today. She actually looked well dressed.

As a Dad with 2 daughters, I know that bigger changes are afoot. But that won't stop me from enjoying a good sideline commentary...

The Winds of Fate
by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

One ship drives east and another drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
'Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales
Which tells us the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate,
As we voyage along through life:
'Tis the set of the soul
That decides its goal,
And not the calm or the strife.

20/20 ... It's Clear To Me
Our local electricity provider has a special conservation program. If you reduce your electric usage for the month by 20% from the previous year they will reduce your energy bill by another 20%. Nice sentiment, but the message I get is that it is a special program to reward past energy hogs. Since we were energy conscious in past years, there is no way to cut our electric usage by a fifth without disabling major appliances. So the message is clear. I need to increase my electric usage this year by 25% so I can take advantage of the program next year, when electricity rates are even more expensive...

Big Box Mart
If you haven't seen the Big Box Mart parody over at Jibjab, it's a hoot (and somewhat thought provoking)!

The Holiday $ea$on
Even before Halloween there was Christmas merchandise on the shelves. I know that most retailers rely on the Holiday season and Christmas spending to get them into the black (profitable) for the year. But when I see all the knick knacks and promotions, it looks to me like the holidays is all about merchandising and gift lists...

But I know this isn't true. People bring the spirit. Merchants are only doing what is expected. Merchandising and promoting. Holiday spirit isn't measured by how much we spend or buy. It is measured by something much more precious. The best things in life aren't things...

Speaking of which ... I have a bunch of Halloween and special occasion photos to prepare and send off to brighten the day of a distant Grandma...

Planning for the Unplanned

There is purported to be a Chinese curse that goes "May you live in interesting times". The gist of the curse is that the time periods that people find most interesting are those of war, pestilence, and natural disasters. In that regards, recent history has been interesting. How can we plan for future "interesting" events? Should we all start hording food, medicine, and building bomb shelters?

I remember the Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepared. In Boy Scouts we talked about that motto and what it meant. In a nutshell, it means being ready for anything that happens. In a simple sense it means thinking ahead and being ready for what might happen (i.e. bringing waterproof matches for a camping trip where it might rain). But in a much larger sense it means ready to cope with life's events, both planned and unplanned (i.e. learning how to start and tend that campfire in the rain ... it takes a lot more than just waterproof matches).

So planning for the unplanned goes well beyond stocking car kits and home survival kits. Well beyond having things that are ready. It starts with knowing what to do. Learning how to cope with unplanned events. A good dose of first aid and survival training can really come in handy. Planning includes plans for contacting and reuniting with loved ones if separated, plans for obtaining needed medicine or care, dealing with pets, dealing with dangerous situations like gas leaks and exposed electrical wires. It involves knowing how to dealing with emotional and possibly frantic or unethical people. Then you can make preparations and get things ready.

There are many websites for disaster preparedness, including FEMA and their preparedness library. Planning for the unplanned starts with educating yourself.

It is yours to choose how prepared to be. I certainly don't have a bomb shelter. But my family has plans and items in place in case something dramatic does happen. I know that in times of major crisis it is delusional to think I can rely soley on emergency services or on others. Yet that is what most people do...

Remember, there are three kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened. Which are you? The distinction can really become evident during times of crisis...

I also learned to be ready for the small things. While in college I bought a used car from a couple. When I got it home and was cleaning it out I found a tupperware container stowed under the seat filled with all sorts of stuff I hadn't thought of carrying in a car. There was a pad of paper, pencil, change for a payphone, safety pins, string, sewing kit, plasticware, a small pocketknife, flashlight and other useful items. That was in addition to packets of aspirin, ointment, tweezers, first aid tape, antiseptic wipes and bandages. All in a small kit. Yes, I called them about finding it but they never got around to picking it up. So I used that kit for many years for many things (mostly helping other people) and now carry it behind the seat in my truck. It taught me that it is good to be prepared for the small things as well as the big.

Are you prepared for interesting times?

Sex at the Checkout Stand

My gradeschool aged daughters and I went for a quick trip to the local Safeway grocery store. While waiting in the checkout line I gazed at magazine covers. On one cover in eye-catching print "Hot New Sex Tricks" and then in smaller print just underneath something about just needing a couple of props and then something about being ready to act very naughty. The imagery it conveyed in a grocery store... The word very was underlined. Okay... Let's not explain this to my kids.

Cosmopolitan Magazine is the correct answer for those that guessed.

I decided to check out their website. Woah... Sex tricks, sex games, sex positions. Lots of descriptive sex... Oh looky, an online kama sutra game that moans (I'm not making that up)... "Carnal Counselor"? "Guy Candy"? A porn site for women? I sure hope Net Nanny blocks this one!

Now I'm not against better sex, healthy sex or adventurous sex. Nor am I against having appropriate sex education. Heck, I'm all for all these things! I understand some adults enjoy this sort of adult entertainment. A lot of them, if you believe the subscription numbers. But the place for it is not the grocery store checkout rack. Cosmo isn't the only one "pushing the limits".

But they certainly will help broach the subject of smut with the kids...

Insensitive? Who, Me?

My dear wife seems to think that I am insensitive to the special issues of overweight people. Or fixated on them. Or maybe it's just a latent need to vilify me in her blog.

I keep telling her that weight doesn't matter as much as fitness, but that seems to get overlooked. At her gym, they track weight lost and inches lost. So I know these measurements are important to her and the group she exercises with. Tracking them are useful if the goal is to lose body mass, but weight gain or loss by itself is not a good measure of fitness (No, I am not saying that those are all she pays attention to). I have told her on several occasions that I would rather she gain weight and add inches ... as long as she keeps improving her fitness. She does track body fat, which is useful. In my own exercise regimen, I track improvement in flexibility, strength and aerobic capacity. Right now my goal is conditioning with a focus on firming the tummy. Alas, the tummy ... probably a life-long endeavor ... but I digress.

In public, I see irresponsible and indulgent actions around me and question them. Call me a jerk for making assumptions if you must... I see men and women, adults and kids. Especially parents and kids and the use of junk food and treats as rewards and the use of treats to placate bad behavior. I see the impulsive, indulgent, and consumptive motivators in our society and question the intelligence of it. I question why healthy eateries struggle and go out of business while McDonalds and Ice Cream shops spring up all around us. Am I somehow immune to all this? Hell no!

Yes, it is personal to me. I know that it takes concerted effort and discipline to eat healthily and exercise healthily. To become fit and stay fit. To not give in. If we cook for ourselves there is the added expense of time and effort, if we eat out there is the added $ cost, large portions, scarcity of healthy selections and general lack of nutritional info to begin with. I am used to others shrugging off my efforts as me somehow being blessed. How lucky I am to have my metabolism. Yeah, right... As if I were destined to forever be in good shape without effort.

You see, in my family heritage there is a history of putting on weight with the years. Both sides of the family have the "pot-bellied friar" tendency for the guys and "plump double-chin Rubenesque" for the gals. My dad, a college football player and ex-army is a good sized guy to begin with. But with his appetite and the lifestyle changes that came with a desk job and marriage with kids, for the first 10 years or so of my youth he gained weight. Muscle gave way to bulk. By the time he hit the low 200s he was obviously out of shape. Then came the years of diet and exercise. Now that he is retired, his weight is on the rise again. To give you a perspective, my Dad, uncle and aunt cannot comfortably fit in automotive seat belts today.

I have a daughter that is almost 10. My dad's scenario could easily be mine to deal with today. Today!

Call it insensitive or a fixation, but I don't want to get like that. I don't think my wife wants me to get like that, and I don't want my wife getting like that.

Healthy diet is important. But as I've said many times before, most so-called diets are focused on weight loss and do it in unhealthy ways. I grew up with 4 sisters. I've witnessed dietary weirdness close up.

No, I am not singling out overweight people. Or those with eating disorders. I question lots of things I observe. Like those people we see always scowling or workaholics or people that always seem to need to be victims... But again, I digress.

I sympathize, empathize, and support people that strive to reach worthy goals. I can directly relate. Seriously, my goal is not to mock or belittle. I know it is difficult to counter even the natural appetites and cravings present in every human. But I have also learned to put results and actions before words. I have had the fortune to support people overcoming alcohol, drug, and temper problems.

So if I seem critical of what I observe ... I am. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, I'm going to call it a duck. My apologies to penguins that look, sound, and act like ducks.

While critical, I do also keep my assumptions in mind. Yes, the out of shape overweight woman my wife and I saw at the grocery just this last weekend who had only a large package of ice cream sandwiches and fresh filled pastries in her cart may just be getting those for her husband and kids before she gets fresh vegetables and weight watchers for herself or a zillion other scenarios ... but most likely it just might be what it appeared to be...

DW @ Nashville CATS

My dear wife recently got back from a trip to the Nashville CATS get-together. No, it had nothing to do with feline mammals ... at least not that I know of. From what I can tell, it's a cult gathering for cross stitchers, the vast majority of whom are women.

DW had minor adventures crossing between Western and Eastern US. This mostly involved air travel foibles, of course. From what I gather, she had 2+ wonderful days while she was there. She got home bubbly, happy and excited about all the online friends and acquaintances whom she finally got to meet in person. As well as the antics of her group. That was followed by announcing that she was sore, tired, worn out, etc.

Before DW left, we talked about the trip with the kids. Mom would be going away for a few days and I was staying home with them. "Mommy is going to go to a stitching show to have fun with her stitching friends". A "slumber party" of sorts. Of course, that just made the girls want to go too, but we told them it was far, far away and just Mommy was going. Later, I think I put it in another perspective as a "big girl's slumber party" and "stitchers wild weekend out".

While she was there she hooked up with a good number of online stitching buddies, did the stitching show, did the town, reveled in the "power of perky puppies". Apparently Nashville survived...

So DW got back and was telling us how well she "behaved herself" and showed "restraint". Yep, that was just before pulling out her treasure trove of acquisitions. Oh, and I shouldn't forget the nice tee shirts as gifts for me and the girls. Thanks dear!

What Ever Happened to So-and-So?

The local paper carries a column called "Male Call" that has humorous anecdotes from the guy perspective in response to letters sent in. In a recent one, they talk about googling old girlfriends online and who hasn't done it. Well, I hadn't, but since they mentioned it...

I did a google search for my highschool girlfriend. I knew that after highschool she went into college as pre-med and later got married to someone there. But I had lost track long ago. Well ... remarkably enough I found her. There she was, going by her maiden name with a Dr and MD, PhD around it. A medical research associate.

Atta way! It is always good to see hopes and dreams achieved. No contact info though.

How can something so good be so bad?

I'll admit it. I enjoy being a bit irreverent. At my house, the name used for the local donut chain's shop is "Krusty Kreme". Krispy? Krusty? When it comes to Kreme (if it's anything like cream) what's the difference? The local Krusty Kreme makes Sugar Coated Fat Pills. Yes, even my dear wife and the girls call them that now. It doesn't seem to have dampened the appeal much. We'll be shopping nearby and there will be that enticing aroma. "Hmmm, fresh sugar coated fat pills. Yum!".

At the local indoor mall there are strategically placed shops with Cookies or Candies or Ice Cream or Cinnabons or smoothies or... You can't go more than a couple stores without a new aroma and visual enticements. Oh come on, you know you deserve it, treat yourself... And there seem to be a lot of people who can't make it more than a couple stores without indulging themselves.

Direct marketing to the indulgent consumptive. Or is that the impulsive indulgent... Anyways, I've even offered to educate the people in line. "Hey, don't you know those things make you fat?" But somehow my instinct for self preservation takes over...

Another Ribbon

Today I saw one of those red, white & blue ribbon stickers on a car that had a full statement on it. It said "Support our President and our Country".

Just as I am reminded that all "terrorists" consider themselves patriots and rally around similar banners, I am reminded:

"That we are to stand by the president, right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt

"Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong." - James Bryce

"Naturally, the common people don'’t want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a Democracy, or a Fascist dictatorship, or a Parliament, or a Communist dictatorship. Voice or No voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy, all you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism And exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country." - Herman Goering, Hitler'’s Reich-Marshall, at the Nuremberg Trials.

Do Guns Really Make People Bad?

I recently bought a Ruger 10/22 target rifle from my brother-in-law. It was well kept, complete with original manual and a nice gun case.

The reason he sold it is a bit unusual. He and I have gone out target shooting numerous times. He handles guns well and enjoys shooting. By "well" I mean exemplary safe handling and always respectful of the gun and those around him. But his kids play with the kids of a neighbor who is, for lack of a better term, "firearm sensitive". They wouldn't let their kids even visit the house if they knew there was a gun inside. "Why don't you just get a good secure gun safe (a safe that you keep guns locked securely in) like mine?" I asked him. Apparently, that would make things worse. He has kept his guns well hidden and getting a gun safe would make it obvious he had guns. Just having a gun in the house makes it bad...

Yet another paranoid rationalization. Guns are bad and dangerous. You can't trust someone who has guns around ... Um, unless of course they are police or military and then they are miraculously virtuous.

Ironically, they trust that my BIL doesn't have guns in the house, but if they found out he actually did they wouldn't trust him...

Yes, guns can be dangerous. Very dangerous. So can cars and trucks and a myriad of common household items. Knowledge and safety is important. But the idea of the mere presence of a firearm making a house a bad place or a person bad? My BIL didn't even have any ammunition. Such a dire threat!

So, when I picked up the rifle I asked, half in jest, if I had to sneak it out to my car unseen to avoid having the neighbors call the police on me...

Fashionable Gestures

Oh my! Yesterday I saw a car without an "awareness ribbon" on it!

I recall the old pop song that sang of tying a yellow ribbon on the old oak tree to let someone know they were welcome home. A while ago this romantic ideal was extended to car stickers as a show of support for troops abroad. But now it seems that there are special ribbons for just about every cause. A veritable color-coded ribbon of the month club. Oh, and fashionable arm bands, lapel pins...

Now, I don't mean to belittle the causes; support our troops, support our nation, HIV, stop child abuse, Alzheimer's, breast cancer, etc, etc, etc... But it has reached the point of being just another fashionable gesture.

There is a SUV around the neighborhood that has 4 ribbons lined up across the back. Yep. The message is lost in the medium. Time to put the ribbons away with the old Save the Seal bumper stickers and Baby On Board window hangers. Don't lose sight of the cause, let's get back to what's important.

I'm Being Downsized

And I say it with a laugh! During a recent trip to a Mervyn's clothing store I pulled a couple of shirts off the rack in my normal size and found they were too big. What? Am I shrinking? Nope, apparently the shirts grew. The size they used to call Large is now called Medium. At least for those brands. I guess I'm just not keeping up with the trend. If this keeps up I'll have to go back to shopping in the boys section.

Happy Birthday

My youngest daughter turned 8. It's mind boggling. Each birthday brings a new wave of remembrances.

This year we let the birthday girl choose where she wanted to go for lunch and dinner. For lunch she chose Burger King. Now we've coached her well in the junk food messages and she will tell you that the food isn't that good for you. But given her pick, a burger, apple sauce and milkshake it was. For dinner she chose Taco Maker, another local fast food burger/taco crossover place. But they were closed for unknown reasons. Second choice was McDonalds. But this got groans (and thumbs down) from my wife and I. We finally talked her into a local place that we like that has a children's grilled cheese sandwich plate that she likes. By "talked her into" I mean that's where the car ended up (I was driving) and she relented...

I know, we should count our blessings that we made her happy and got off fairly cheap. In the end, she had a happy day.