A Guy's Perspective On Bras...

I hope that guys reading this find some of my revelations insightful. Gals ... well, try not to laugh too loud ... and no, I've never worn one. And won't, not even in empathy.

Bras are women's undergarments meant to make women more attractive, right? Or to provide support, right? If only it were that simple.

Revelation #1: In bra advertisements, the women wearing the bras are women who look good without bras. Heck, in real life they probably look better without them. They aren't wearing them because they want to. They are paid to. Sometimes paid a lot. Obvious, right? It is until you remember that one reason guys look at the ads (other than fascination with the female figure) is to consider "what would my gal look like in that". It becomes easy to envision "wow, my gal would look great wearing that". It is easy to forget that in real life that model doesn't even look that good.

Revelation #2: Some bras are for women, some are for guys. How can that be? A while ago, when showing my dear wife a Victorias Secret ad with one of the sexier combos she informed me "that wouldn't be a gift for me, it'd be a gift for you". You know what she meant. So, OK. Realizing that women wearing the sexier or more creative bras is for us guys isn't so bad. It certainly bodes well for the next time my wife asks me for gift ideas. "Get me this bra, dear!"

Revelation #3: Until you know what your gal likes and wants, avoid the madness altogether. There are a gazillion different types of bras. Full, demi, balconette, seamless, strapless, support, soft cup, plunge, sports, padded, minimizer, push-up, posture, underwire, bullet, sling, shelf, sleep bras and the variations keep going. Not to mention bra-like garments like brasseletes, bustiers, briefers, corsets, basques and the creative ones. If you do get her that interesting looking sexy number from a catalog or website and it gets relegated to the back of a drawer, remember I told you so.

Revelation #4: Although some women would like us to think so, the brassiere was not a torture device invented by a man. The popularized idea that the brassiere was invented by Otto Titzling (who is also popularized as Otto Titslinger by a Bette Midler song and in the Trivial Pursuit game) is traced to a work of fiction called Bust Up: The Uplifting Tale of Otto Titzling by Wallace Reyburn. The first modern brassiere to receive a patent was one invented long before that by New York socialite Mary Phelps Jacob in 1913. At least it was the first to be called a brassiere, which is derived from the old French word for "upper arm". Prior to that, there were patents for various "breast supporters" going back into the late 1800s. The true inventor of the bra is open to debate and examples of bra like garments have been cited all the way back to the Minoans in 2500 BC.

Revelation #5: Some bras are undergarments and some are lingerie. How do you tell which is which? You can't. Or not for long. It's a fashion thing. Common intimate apparel versus special intimate apparel. It reflects an evolution where today's common undergarments often resemble yesteryears risque lingerie. As far as I can tell, being called lingerie just means it is an undergarment that is less likely to be worn in public today. So guys, don't sweat it. If you need to know, ask your significant other. She'll set the record straight.

Mind Boggle #1: Victorias Secret has a $10,000,000 Heavenly 70 Fantasy Bra. How and where do you show off that number? Inquiring minds want to know...

Daylight Savings Time

What exactly are we saving? I know, it's a rhetorical question that could take a whole blog to ponder.

This year the kid's school tried something new. On the Friday before the time change they gave out tickets, good for the following Monday only, that could be used to avoid a tardy if the kids were late. Each kid got one. Never mind that this clock change made it easier to get up...

But my kids were on to it in a flash. They planned Monday morning in detail. Sleep in for about 15 minutes (nothing new so far), watch cartoons in their jammies for an hour, a game, nice breakfast, get ready... I had to remind them that the ticket was "in case" they were late, not so they "could be" late.

"Awww, Dad...".

Amazingly, even with the expectation of a lax morning we arrived at school early. Plus I'm sure the extra fun time with their friends made up for drill sergeant Dad.