Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Harry Potter and the Untold Stories

Now that the 7th (and supposedly final) book is out, I feel it my duty to share some of the untold stories that will undoubtedly appear in the supporting books to come...

The Hogwarts Dorm Parties. Of course they had parties. Why should Hogwarts be different than any other school? Drugs and alcohol? Those are for Muggles. Just wait until you hear about the partying spells, potions and antics. Where did you think the name Hufflepuff came from?

Love Magic and Sex Potions. All the tawdry bits not covered in the books. What else do you think goes on in the privacy of a wizard's bedroom? Learn about the Wizarding arts that aren't covered in the Hogwarts classroom. Hear about the Weasley family's legendary Peckorious Viagrenormic spell. Why else do you think the Weasleys have so many kids and Arthur always looks so worn out?

Hogwarts Initiations and Hazings. Yes, the staff has to keep a close eye on their students. Since first years know little if any magic they have little resistance to magic such as the disrobamus spell, the real reason they wear wizards robes and often nothing else. Learn the secrets about each house's induction ceremonies. Yow!

Nargles, the Other White Meat. The real reason we don't see any of these mischievous critters around.

Magic Amongst Us. You think all those wizards and witches amongst the non-magic folk are idle? With all the temptation and the questionable characters do you really think wizards or witches can resist using a bit of magic now and then to influence Muggles. Especially when many of them see us as the Neanderthals of their era? Where do you think Dark Wizards who are bad at magic go? They become Muggle politicians, of course. Try not to think about it too much.

...and Much More. What really goes on in Filch's dungeon? How did Dumbledore's twin, Gandalf, get stuck in some strange middle-earth dimension? What else goes on in a school with 4 rival gangs? This and much more to come!