Insensitive? Who, Me?

My dear wife seems to think that I am insensitive to the special issues of overweight people. Or fixated on them. Or maybe it's just a latent need to vilify me in her blog.

I keep telling her that weight doesn't matter as much as fitness, but that seems to get overlooked. At her gym, they track weight lost and inches lost. So I know these measurements are important to her and the group she exercises with. Tracking them are useful if the goal is to lose body mass, but weight gain or loss by itself is not a good measure of fitness (No, I am not saying that those are all she pays attention to). I have told her on several occasions that I would rather she gain weight and add inches ... as long as she keeps improving her fitness. She does track body fat, which is useful. In my own exercise regimen, I track improvement in flexibility, strength and aerobic capacity. Right now my goal is conditioning with a focus on firming the tummy. Alas, the tummy ... probably a life-long endeavor ... but I digress.

In public, I see irresponsible and indulgent actions around me and question them. Call me a jerk for making assumptions if you must... I see men and women, adults and kids. Especially parents and kids and the use of junk food and treats as rewards and the use of treats to placate bad behavior. I see the impulsive, indulgent, and consumptive motivators in our society and question the intelligence of it. I question why healthy eateries struggle and go out of business while McDonalds and Ice Cream shops spring up all around us. Am I somehow immune to all this? Hell no!

Yes, it is personal to me. I know that it takes concerted effort and discipline to eat healthily and exercise healthily. To become fit and stay fit. To not give in. If we cook for ourselves there is the added expense of time and effort, if we eat out there is the added $ cost, large portions, scarcity of healthy selections and general lack of nutritional info to begin with. I am used to others shrugging off my efforts as me somehow being blessed. How lucky I am to have my metabolism. Yeah, right... As if I were destined to forever be in good shape without effort.

You see, in my family heritage there is a history of putting on weight with the years. Both sides of the family have the "pot-bellied friar" tendency for the guys and "plump double-chin Rubenesque" for the gals. My dad, a college football player and ex-army is a good sized guy to begin with. But with his appetite and the lifestyle changes that came with a desk job and marriage with kids, for the first 10 years or so of my youth he gained weight. Muscle gave way to bulk. By the time he hit the low 200s he was obviously out of shape. Then came the years of diet and exercise. Now that he is retired, his weight is on the rise again. To give you a perspective, my Dad, uncle and aunt cannot comfortably fit in automotive seat belts today.

I have a daughter that is almost 10. My dad's scenario could easily be mine to deal with today. Today!

Call it insensitive or a fixation, but I don't want to get like that. I don't think my wife wants me to get like that, and I don't want my wife getting like that.

Healthy diet is important. But as I've said many times before, most so-called diets are focused on weight loss and do it in unhealthy ways. I grew up with 4 sisters. I've witnessed dietary weirdness close up.

No, I am not singling out overweight people. Or those with eating disorders. I question lots of things I observe. Like those people we see always scowling or workaholics or people that always seem to need to be victims... But again, I digress.

I sympathize, empathize, and support people that strive to reach worthy goals. I can directly relate. Seriously, my goal is not to mock or belittle. I know it is difficult to counter even the natural appetites and cravings present in every human. But I have also learned to put results and actions before words. I have had the fortune to support people overcoming alcohol, drug, and temper problems.

So if I seem critical of what I observe ... I am. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, I'm going to call it a duck. My apologies to penguins that look, sound, and act like ducks.

While critical, I do also keep my assumptions in mind. Yes, the out of shape overweight woman my wife and I saw at the grocery just this last weekend who had only a large package of ice cream sandwiches and fresh filled pastries in her cart may just be getting those for her husband and kids before she gets fresh vegetables and weight watchers for herself or a zillion other scenarios ... but most likely it just might be what it appeared to be...

DW @ Nashville CATS

My dear wife recently got back from a trip to the Nashville CATS get-together. No, it had nothing to do with feline mammals ... at least not that I know of. From what I can tell, it's a cult gathering for cross stitchers, the vast majority of whom are women.

DW had minor adventures crossing between Western and Eastern US. This mostly involved air travel foibles, of course. From what I gather, she had 2+ wonderful days while she was there. She got home bubbly, happy and excited about all the online friends and acquaintances whom she finally got to meet in person. As well as the antics of her group. That was followed by announcing that she was sore, tired, worn out, etc.

Before DW left, we talked about the trip with the kids. Mom would be going away for a few days and I was staying home with them. "Mommy is going to go to a stitching show to have fun with her stitching friends". A "slumber party" of sorts. Of course, that just made the girls want to go too, but we told them it was far, far away and just Mommy was going. Later, I think I put it in another perspective as a "big girl's slumber party" and "stitchers wild weekend out".

While she was there she hooked up with a good number of online stitching buddies, did the stitching show, did the town, reveled in the "power of perky puppies". Apparently Nashville survived...

So DW got back and was telling us how well she "behaved herself" and showed "restraint". Yep, that was just before pulling out her treasure trove of acquisitions. Oh, and I shouldn't forget the nice tee shirts as gifts for me and the girls. Thanks dear!

What Ever Happened to So-and-So?

The local paper carries a column called "Male Call" that has humorous anecdotes from the guy perspective in response to letters sent in. In a recent one, they talk about googling old girlfriends online and who hasn't done it. Well, I hadn't, but since they mentioned it...

I did a google search for my highschool girlfriend. I knew that after highschool she went into college as pre-med and later got married to someone there. But I had lost track long ago. Well ... remarkably enough I found her. There she was, going by her maiden name with a Dr and MD, PhD around it. A medical research associate.

Atta way! It is always good to see hopes and dreams achieved. No contact info though.

How can something so good be so bad?

I'll admit it. I enjoy being a bit irreverent. At my house, the name used for the local donut chain's shop is "Krusty Kreme". Krispy? Krusty? When it comes to Kreme (if it's anything like cream) what's the difference? The local Krusty Kreme makes Sugar Coated Fat Pills. Yes, even my dear wife and the girls call them that now. It doesn't seem to have dampened the appeal much. We'll be shopping nearby and there will be that enticing aroma. "Hmmm, fresh sugar coated fat pills. Yum!".

At the local indoor mall there are strategically placed shops with Cookies or Candies or Ice Cream or Cinnabons or smoothies or... You can't go more than a couple stores without a new aroma and visual enticements. Oh come on, you know you deserve it, treat yourself... And there seem to be a lot of people who can't make it more than a couple stores without indulging themselves.

Direct marketing to the indulgent consumptive. Or is that the impulsive indulgent... Anyways, I've even offered to educate the people in line. "Hey, don't you know those things make you fat?" But somehow my instinct for self preservation takes over...

Another Ribbon

Today I saw one of those red, white & blue ribbon stickers on a car that had a full statement on it. It said "Support our President and our Country".

Just as I am reminded that all "terrorists" consider themselves patriots and rally around similar banners, I am reminded:

"That we are to stand by the president, right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt

"Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong." - James Bryce

"Naturally, the common people don'’t want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a Democracy, or a Fascist dictatorship, or a Parliament, or a Communist dictatorship. Voice or No voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy, all you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism And exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country." - Herman Goering, Hitler'’s Reich-Marshall, at the Nuremberg Trials.

Do Guns Really Make People Bad?

I recently bought a Ruger 10/22 target rifle from my brother-in-law. It was well kept, complete with original manual and a nice gun case.

The reason he sold it is a bit unusual. He and I have gone out target shooting numerous times. He handles guns well and enjoys shooting. By "well" I mean exemplary safe handling and always respectful of the gun and those around him. But his kids play with the kids of a neighbor who is, for lack of a better term, "firearm sensitive". They wouldn't let their kids even visit the house if they knew there was a gun inside. "Why don't you just get a good secure gun safe (a safe that you keep guns locked securely in) like mine?" I asked him. Apparently, that would make things worse. He has kept his guns well hidden and getting a gun safe would make it obvious he had guns. Just having a gun in the house makes it bad...

Yet another paranoid rationalization. Guns are bad and dangerous. You can't trust someone who has guns around ... Um, unless of course they are police or military and then they are miraculously virtuous.

Ironically, they trust that my BIL doesn't have guns in the house, but if they found out he actually did they wouldn't trust him...

Yes, guns can be dangerous. Very dangerous. So can cars and trucks and a myriad of common household items. Knowledge and safety is important. But the idea of the mere presence of a firearm making a house a bad place or a person bad? My BIL didn't even have any ammunition. Such a dire threat!

So, when I picked up the rifle I asked, half in jest, if I had to sneak it out to my car unseen to avoid having the neighbors call the police on me...

Fashionable Gestures

Oh my! Yesterday I saw a car without an "awareness ribbon" on it!

I recall the old pop song that sang of tying a yellow ribbon on the old oak tree to let someone know they were welcome home. A while ago this romantic ideal was extended to car stickers as a show of support for troops abroad. But now it seems that there are special ribbons for just about every cause. A veritable color-coded ribbon of the month club. Oh, and fashionable arm bands, lapel pins...

Now, I don't mean to belittle the causes; support our troops, support our nation, HIV, stop child abuse, Alzheimer's, breast cancer, etc, etc, etc... But it has reached the point of being just another fashionable gesture.

There is a SUV around the neighborhood that has 4 ribbons lined up across the back. Yep. The message is lost in the medium. Time to put the ribbons away with the old Save the Seal bumper stickers and Baby On Board window hangers. Don't lose sight of the cause, let's get back to what's important.

I'm Being Downsized

And I say it with a laugh! During a recent trip to a Mervyn's clothing store I pulled a couple of shirts off the rack in my normal size and found they were too big. What? Am I shrinking? Nope, apparently the shirts grew. The size they used to call Large is now called Medium. At least for those brands. I guess I'm just not keeping up with the trend. If this keeps up I'll have to go back to shopping in the boys section.

Happy Birthday

My youngest daughter turned 8. It's mind boggling. Each birthday brings a new wave of remembrances.

This year we let the birthday girl choose where she wanted to go for lunch and dinner. For lunch she chose Burger King. Now we've coached her well in the junk food messages and she will tell you that the food isn't that good for you. But given her pick, a burger, apple sauce and milkshake it was. For dinner she chose Taco Maker, another local fast food burger/taco crossover place. But they were closed for unknown reasons. Second choice was McDonalds. But this got groans (and thumbs down) from my wife and I. We finally talked her into a local place that we like that has a children's grilled cheese sandwich plate that she likes. By "talked her into" I mean that's where the car ended up (I was driving) and she relented...

I know, we should count our blessings that we made her happy and got off fairly cheap. In the end, she had a happy day.