The Prodigal Sister...
or Is the Grasshopper Learning Life's Lessons...?

My parents were blessed with many children. Seven altogether. It is my fortune to be an eldest son. I was followed in short order by several sisters. What follows is about my eldest little sister.

Of us siblings, my eldest little sister always embodied her own ideals of Carpe Diem the best. Seize the day! And then the night too! In high school she was a very active member of the party animal crowd. No stranger to social revelry and debauchery. Fortunate to have graduated... And so the biblical Prodigal Son story starts to have relevant meaning. While I was "setting the example", being studious, getting good grades and earning a college degree, working, saving, and buying my first house, she was out enjoying life's pleasures. Her current situation is very much the outcome of her own choices and actions. But then this is a truth for most of us.

In all fairness, she now has many notable achievements and has done well for herself in many ways. She has grown as a person. What I might consider irresponsible behavior for myself, most people would accept of her as responsible when considering modern lifestyles. We all have different priorities and it shows up in our lives. My sister and I have each done very well for ourselves, but in much different ways.

My parents are now retired. And as age and the past catches up with all of us, my sister found that she was the only one of their kids who didn't own a house. From my vantage, this isn't through any misfortune or hardship on her part. It is because of her decisions and the life she chose to live. She had no down payment for a house. So she convinced my Dad to help her buy a property and build a house. My Dad provided half the money and my sister used that as collateral for a loan for her half. She and her husband are making good progress in the construction. They have embraced a new level of responsibility.

Hopefully the similarities to the prodigal son story are clearer. My sister went out to seek her fortunes and experience life. She had many enjoyable experiences and spent her money and effort along the way. While I was working hard in college and in my career, while I sacrificed and saved to buy a house, she chose another path. As her age and choices caught up with her, she had little to show. My prodigal sister has come back to our Dad for help...

My Mom and Dad have said that this won't cause them any hardship. That my sister is effectively just getting her share of the inheritance early. And this gives the prodigal story comparison a bit of a twist. For starts, to me it is not her inheritance, it is their retirement funds. And to me that means a cushion of monies for my parents to live on and enjoy. Funds to be there in case the unforeseen happens. To say that any of their estate is my sister's inheritance before the fact is a contrived justification to me. Early on they referred to this as an investment. Investing in real estate partnerships is a long term commitment with limited liquidity when the funds are needed. So another contrived justification. And several other "rationalizations" that don't quite make good sense. And this brings the question of how much of this is my sister's persuasion.

As eldest brother, I have a special family perspective. I hear the grumbling from my other brothers and sisters. We grew up with this sister and experienced first hand the manipulations and deceits she managed on my parents. Some things my parents will never know... And so there is a healthy dose of skepticism, and even some resentment. While I can see how this venture has pulled my Dad and Sister closer again, I can only hope my parents see how it also raises questions and suspicions.

Somewhere in all of this is a lesson that my Dad needs to learn. One that he should have learned years ago and maybe now is getting another chance to learn. And I think my eldest little sister has learned much along the way, but still has much to learn. But then, don't we all...

I hope the best for my parents and for my eldest little sister. Maybe that proverbial grasshopper that played while the ant toiled is learning ... with some help.