A Kinder and Gentler Neighbor

Following the example of our great President, George W. Bush, I have decided that I need to be a "kinder and gentler neighbor". Similar to the "kinder and gentler nation" his father's Whitehouse Bio advocated. His fine examples make good sense to me. His actions make sense too. Peace through superior firepower and pre-emptive security actions.

My neighbors are terrorists, I know it. There are all the tell-tale signs. They are secretive and rarely participate in neighborhood functions. We must stop them before they carry out the acts they are secretly plotting against us. I know that they have stashes of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD). Sure, they may call them pest control and cleaning chemicals, but we all know that they are just hiding these dangerous WMDs before using them on us. I also have it on good authority that they have aluminum and other materials commonly used in the construction of nuclear bombs, missiles and other assault weapons. They must be stopped before it is too late.

So, are you with me in fighting terrorism? Or against me! We would be heroes to our country! I am sure we will find at least as many WMDs at my neighbors house as we did in Iraq. It is our moral imperative to rescue my neighbors from their dire situation, right?

But they are neighbors and we do abhor violence. So we must first act in good faith. But with firm resolve. First we will inform them that they have a limited amount of time to turn over all of their WMDs and their plans for deployment. If they deny them or are unwilling to turn them over, then in the name of stopping terrorists everywhere we must invade, imprison them and restore peace to their household. I would say two dozen combat troops and an air strike or two would be enough to remove this continuing threat!

Only then can we have true peace!