A Guy's Perspective On Bras...
I hope that guys reading this find some of my revelations insightful. Gals ... well, try not to laugh too loud ... and no, I've never worn one. And won't, not even in empathy.
Bras are women's undergarments meant to make women more attractive, right? Or to provide support, right? If only it were that simple.
Revelation #1: In bra advertisements, the women wearing the bras are women who look good without bras. Heck, in real life they probably look better without them. They aren't wearing them because they want to. They are paid to. Sometimes paid a lot. Obvious, right? It is until you remember that one reason guys look at the ads (other than fascination with the female figure) is to consider "what would my gal look like in that". It becomes easy to envision "wow, my gal would look great wearing that". It is easy to forget that in real life that model doesn't even look that good.
Revelation #2: Some bras are for women, some are for guys. How can that be? A while ago, when showing my dear wife a Victorias Secret ad with one of the sexier combos she informed me "that wouldn't be a gift for me, it'd be a gift for you". You know what she meant. So, OK. Realizing that women wearing the sexier or more creative bras is for us guys isn't so bad. It certainly bodes well for the next time my wife asks me for gift ideas. "Get me this bra, dear!"
Revelation #3: Until you know what your gal likes and wants, avoid the madness altogether. There are a gazillion different types of bras. Full, demi, balconette, seamless, strapless, support, soft cup, plunge, sports, padded, minimizer, push-up, posture, underwire, bullet, sling, shelf, sleep bras and the variations keep going. Not to mention bra-like garments like brasseletes, bustiers, briefers, corsets, basques and the creative ones. If you do get her that interesting looking sexy number from a catalog or website and it gets relegated to the back of a drawer, remember I told you so.
Revelation #4: Although some women would like us to think so, the brassiere was not a torture device invented by a man. The popularized idea that the brassiere was invented by Otto Titzling (who is also popularized as Otto Titslinger by a Bette Midler song and in the Trivial Pursuit game) is traced to a work of fiction called Bust Up: The Uplifting Tale of Otto Titzling by Wallace Reyburn. The first modern brassiere to receive a patent was one invented long before that by New York socialite Mary Phelps Jacob in 1913. At least it was the first to be called a brassiere, which is derived from the old French word for "upper arm". Prior to that, there were patents for various "breast supporters" going back into the late 1800s. The true inventor of the bra is open to debate and examples of bra like garments have been cited all the way back to the Minoans in 2500 BC.
Revelation #5: Some bras are undergarments and some are lingerie. How do you tell which is which? You can't. Or not for long. It's a fashion thing. Common intimate apparel versus special intimate apparel. It reflects an evolution where today's common undergarments often resemble yesteryears risque lingerie. As far as I can tell, being called lingerie just means it is an undergarment that is less likely to be worn in public today. So guys, don't sweat it. If you need to know, ask your significant other. She'll set the record straight.
Mind Boggle #1: Victorias Secret has a $10,000,000 Heavenly 70 Fantasy Bra. How and where do you show off that number? Inquiring minds want to know...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Daylight Savings Time
What exactly are we saving? I know, it's a rhetorical question that could take a whole blog to ponder.
This year the kid's school tried something new. On the Friday before the time change they gave out tickets, good for the following Monday only, that could be used to avoid a tardy if the kids were late. Each kid got one. Never mind that this clock change made it easier to get up...
But my kids were on to it in a flash. They planned Monday morning in detail. Sleep in for about 15 minutes (nothing new so far), watch cartoons in their jammies for an hour, a game, nice breakfast, get ready... I had to remind them that the ticket was "in case" they were late, not so they "could be" late.
"Awww, Dad...".
Amazingly, even with the expectation of a lax morning we arrived at school early. Plus I'm sure the extra fun time with their friends made up for drill sergeant Dad.
What exactly are we saving? I know, it's a rhetorical question that could take a whole blog to ponder.
This year the kid's school tried something new. On the Friday before the time change they gave out tickets, good for the following Monday only, that could be used to avoid a tardy if the kids were late. Each kid got one. Never mind that this clock change made it easier to get up...
But my kids were on to it in a flash. They planned Monday morning in detail. Sleep in for about 15 minutes (nothing new so far), watch cartoons in their jammies for an hour, a game, nice breakfast, get ready... I had to remind them that the ticket was "in case" they were late, not so they "could be" late.
"Awww, Dad...".
Amazingly, even with the expectation of a lax morning we arrived at school early. Plus I'm sure the extra fun time with their friends made up for drill sergeant Dad.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Field Trip Lesson
About once a month, each of my grade-schoolers has a field trip. About 3 weeks beforehand, their teacher sends out a permission form and puts up a sign-up sheet for chaperone volunteers. The chaperone list generally fills up very fast. Especially for fun outings.
I decided to take a break from work and sign up for a community service field trip. Actually, I must confess the truth; I gave in to my eldest daughter's persistence. The sign-ups were a bit slow for this one. My daughter was very polite and determined. When I volunteered, the first question the teacher asked me was "How many kids can fit in your car?". The silent warning bells went off... But by the day of the outing there were 4 parents signed up and with the teacher we had plenty of seats and watchful eyes.
The trip was yesterday. It reminded me of my own charitable school outing experiences at about the same age. Plus, it is always good to see some of that youthful enthusiasm and energy applied towards good causes. I was the sole dad with the group. Most of the kids brought donations of clothing or food. But the most valuable contribution was their effort and what they learned.
We went to a downtown community outreach center. The staff was very gracious and explained a lot to the kids. It gave the kids (and myself) a lot to think about when one of the guys explained just how much food, clothing and shoes they give out each day. They explained how they have to think about what they give out and can't assume that the person who gets the item has even as much as a closet to keep it in. Some of the needy carry all of their stuff with them in backpacks or bags and share housing with many other people.
My charges and I were put to work greeting the people bringing donations. Clothing went in one door and food went in another. While we were there, a nice woman brought in a full set of bedding in a bag and was concerned that it stay together. It was in great condition. I asked one of the staff what to do with it. Now that the weather is colder there is more demand and it went right to the front. It came in and was given out within about 10 minutes. Another group of schoolgirls with an adult dropped off about 20 children's Halloween costumes, new in bags, along with about 50 pounds of bagged candy. I'll bet it will make for a happier Halloween for a bunch of parents and kids. When things got slow in the back we got to help sort food or sort and hang up clothes.
By helping alongside the kids, I was reminded of how fortunate I am and how valuable it is to share good fortune. It was good seeing the kids get a good dose of this as well. Plus, I think that all that exuberant youthful energy the kids provided had a rejuvenating effect on the staff. The staff was certainly plentiful with their praise and thanks at the end.
My lesson from taking part in this? Charity isn't guaged by what you give, but by how you give. Charity isn't what's in the bag, it's what's in the person. I have my eldest daughter to thank for twisting my arm to go.
Sox Cheer
Congratulations to the Red Sox and their fans. They won the world series very convincingly!
In doing so, they managed to undermine one of the fatalistic underpinnings of New England sports culture. The curse. But I'm sure they'll learn to survive without it.
About once a month, each of my grade-schoolers has a field trip. About 3 weeks beforehand, their teacher sends out a permission form and puts up a sign-up sheet for chaperone volunteers. The chaperone list generally fills up very fast. Especially for fun outings.
I decided to take a break from work and sign up for a community service field trip. Actually, I must confess the truth; I gave in to my eldest daughter's persistence. The sign-ups were a bit slow for this one. My daughter was very polite and determined. When I volunteered, the first question the teacher asked me was "How many kids can fit in your car?". The silent warning bells went off... But by the day of the outing there were 4 parents signed up and with the teacher we had plenty of seats and watchful eyes.
The trip was yesterday. It reminded me of my own charitable school outing experiences at about the same age. Plus, it is always good to see some of that youthful enthusiasm and energy applied towards good causes. I was the sole dad with the group. Most of the kids brought donations of clothing or food. But the most valuable contribution was their effort and what they learned.
We went to a downtown community outreach center. The staff was very gracious and explained a lot to the kids. It gave the kids (and myself) a lot to think about when one of the guys explained just how much food, clothing and shoes they give out each day. They explained how they have to think about what they give out and can't assume that the person who gets the item has even as much as a closet to keep it in. Some of the needy carry all of their stuff with them in backpacks or bags and share housing with many other people.
My charges and I were put to work greeting the people bringing donations. Clothing went in one door and food went in another. While we were there, a nice woman brought in a full set of bedding in a bag and was concerned that it stay together. It was in great condition. I asked one of the staff what to do with it. Now that the weather is colder there is more demand and it went right to the front. It came in and was given out within about 10 minutes. Another group of schoolgirls with an adult dropped off about 20 children's Halloween costumes, new in bags, along with about 50 pounds of bagged candy. I'll bet it will make for a happier Halloween for a bunch of parents and kids. When things got slow in the back we got to help sort food or sort and hang up clothes.
By helping alongside the kids, I was reminded of how fortunate I am and how valuable it is to share good fortune. It was good seeing the kids get a good dose of this as well. Plus, I think that all that exuberant youthful energy the kids provided had a rejuvenating effect on the staff. The staff was certainly plentiful with their praise and thanks at the end.
My lesson from taking part in this? Charity isn't guaged by what you give, but by how you give. Charity isn't what's in the bag, it's what's in the person. I have my eldest daughter to thank for twisting my arm to go.
Sox Cheer
Congratulations to the Red Sox and their fans. They won the world series very convincingly!
In doing so, they managed to undermine one of the fatalistic underpinnings of New England sports culture. The curse. But I'm sure they'll learn to survive without it.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Super Sized Responsibility
I've been reading Whizgidget's Blogs about the movie Super Size Me with interest. They bring up the question of where does corporate responsibility end and personal responsibility begin? I've seen the movie once, and recommend it as a way to reaffirm why we shouldn't be eating fast foods.
So why do people eat so much fast food? Compulsion? Addiction? Time pressures? Conditioning? Indifference? It is not hard to understand how unhealthy it is. The cause and effects. There's a reason we call it fast food and junk food. But who's fault is it when we do eat it? Or when we eat too much of it?
The movie cites the case of two young girls and their parents who sued McDonalds for their obesity. For knowingly causing them harm. Eventually the judge threw the case out (twice). But it does bring up a good point.
Successful business is about creating and capturing opportunity. And you must admit McDonalds has been remarkably successful at that. They are often used as a case study of growth and innovation. Capturing business opportunity means capturing as many target market dollars as you can without getting into trouble. Sometimes that means walking a very fine line. But it also shows what the corporate motivation is. Healthy or unhealthy doesn't matter unless it can make you more money. The profits matter. Fast food, convenience food, and snack food companies spend a lot of money to get the right look, feel, smell, and appeal in their foods. If more salt or sugar or fat gives them a competitive advantage, they will pour it in. Or chemicals... Then the more you buy the better.
In other words; the behavior of fast food companies is driven by demand. If there were no demand there would be no supply. So of course they are going to target cravings, impulses, and appetites. To get you drooling whenever you see or smell their products. They know that people buy with their eyes and noses. They strive to give you what appeals to your desires, not what you need. And then: "Do you want to Super Size that?".
With such a symbiotic relationship between consumer and company, it is impossible to place blame solely on one side or another. They behave the way they do because we behave the way we do, and vice versus.
In my High School science class we did a nutritional experiment. They brought in about 30 baby white mice which we divided up into pairs in cages. We had 2 basic groups of around 8 pairs of mice. One group was fed junk food. Potato chips, french fries, candy, soda ... that sort of stuff. We fed the other group fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fresh water. We weighed and measured them and the foods regularly so we could keep track of how much they ate. We assessed their strength, stamina and level of energy in different ways. By the end of the quarter the differences were very obvious. The junk food group had less stamina, were less active, were shorter and pudgier, and even their fur looked worse. Only the diet was different, albeit dramatically different.
In that case it was clear. Their diet was our fault.
So far, all of this touches on the tip of a bigger problem that has spent years developing. Fast foods, convenience foods, processed foods. People will pay more to spare themselves time and effort. Then they will pay less and sacrifice quality, substance, or freshness. It becomes quite easy foregoing the more nutritional or healthy diet to save time and money. Stores are stocking more and more prepared foods. For lower costs and improved profit margins they will sacrifice whatever is not needed.
60% of Americans are overweight or obese and that number has doubled in the last 25 years. Woah ... you can't blame all of that on fast food, but they are an obvious contributor...
I've been reading Whizgidget's Blogs about the movie Super Size Me with interest. They bring up the question of where does corporate responsibility end and personal responsibility begin? I've seen the movie once, and recommend it as a way to reaffirm why we shouldn't be eating fast foods.
So why do people eat so much fast food? Compulsion? Addiction? Time pressures? Conditioning? Indifference? It is not hard to understand how unhealthy it is. The cause and effects. There's a reason we call it fast food and junk food. But who's fault is it when we do eat it? Or when we eat too much of it?
The movie cites the case of two young girls and their parents who sued McDonalds for their obesity. For knowingly causing them harm. Eventually the judge threw the case out (twice). But it does bring up a good point.
Successful business is about creating and capturing opportunity. And you must admit McDonalds has been remarkably successful at that. They are often used as a case study of growth and innovation. Capturing business opportunity means capturing as many target market dollars as you can without getting into trouble. Sometimes that means walking a very fine line. But it also shows what the corporate motivation is. Healthy or unhealthy doesn't matter unless it can make you more money. The profits matter. Fast food, convenience food, and snack food companies spend a lot of money to get the right look, feel, smell, and appeal in their foods. If more salt or sugar or fat gives them a competitive advantage, they will pour it in. Or chemicals... Then the more you buy the better.
In other words; the behavior of fast food companies is driven by demand. If there were no demand there would be no supply. So of course they are going to target cravings, impulses, and appetites. To get you drooling whenever you see or smell their products. They know that people buy with their eyes and noses. They strive to give you what appeals to your desires, not what you need. And then: "Do you want to Super Size that?".
With such a symbiotic relationship between consumer and company, it is impossible to place blame solely on one side or another. They behave the way they do because we behave the way we do, and vice versus.
In my High School science class we did a nutritional experiment. They brought in about 30 baby white mice which we divided up into pairs in cages. We had 2 basic groups of around 8 pairs of mice. One group was fed junk food. Potato chips, french fries, candy, soda ... that sort of stuff. We fed the other group fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fresh water. We weighed and measured them and the foods regularly so we could keep track of how much they ate. We assessed their strength, stamina and level of energy in different ways. By the end of the quarter the differences were very obvious. The junk food group had less stamina, were less active, were shorter and pudgier, and even their fur looked worse. Only the diet was different, albeit dramatically different.
In that case it was clear. Their diet was our fault.
So far, all of this touches on the tip of a bigger problem that has spent years developing. Fast foods, convenience foods, processed foods. People will pay more to spare themselves time and effort. Then they will pay less and sacrifice quality, substance, or freshness. It becomes quite easy foregoing the more nutritional or healthy diet to save time and money. Stores are stocking more and more prepared foods. For lower costs and improved profit margins they will sacrifice whatever is not needed.
60% of Americans are overweight or obese and that number has doubled in the last 25 years. Woah ... you can't blame all of that on fast food, but they are an obvious contributor...
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Curves For Guys?
My dear wife was snickering when she saw that next door to one of the many Curves fitness clubs in our city they are opening a similar club for guys. A place called The Blitz. Below the "Opening Soon" sign was another sign touting "20 Minute Total Fitness for Men".
"You can't get a good workout in 20 minutes" was my wife's quip. I would have to respond, with all due irreverence, that for too many guys and gals around here 20 minutes would be a good start...
Lets see... For a good workout your body needs to get warmed up. They say a good warm-up takes about 15 minutes. Plus you don't get aerobic benefit until you've exercised continuously a little below your maximum capacity for more than 15 - 30 minutes. So, I'm in agreement with my wife. But if the sign said "20 Minute Total Warm-up" it just wouldn't have the same selling appeal, would it? In my opinion a good workout takes at least an hour.
Ah, but who has the time?
It is easy to see the convenience appeal of Curves. Quick in, quick out. I'm told they don't even have showers. It is the least you can do and still say you exercised. Literally. There are over 8000 Curves in the U.S. which indicates remarkable success. It makes sense that something similar would appeal to guys. Especially when they throw in heavy punching bags to knock around.
Wait! In a local drug store I saw some wooden cubes in a box by the checkout. They had "Exercise Block" in bold black letters printed on one side. Being curious, I picked one up. Attached to the cube was a tag with more instructions. In short, it said to put the block on the floor in the middle of the room. Next walk around it twice. Congratulations, now you can tell everyone you walked around the block twice today! The ultimate in convenience fitness?
But I do have to recognize and praise the results that Curves members have achieved. Curves has lowered the barriers to getting started in a fitness routine and any start is better than none. Fitness results are a reflection of persistent effort which often involves overcoming motivational hurdles. Curves helps women get over the first hurdles. Hopefully The Blitz will do likewise for men.
"Health, vitality and long life are the goals that everyone would wish to aim for. These are not, however, achieved automatically. Because the 'civilized' habits of Western Life do more to diminish health than to increase it, fitness is something that has to be worked at.
...
Exercise, above all, makes you look and feel well. Few adults who have taken the trouble to get fit will ever allow themselves to become unfit again. You owe it to yourself to get your body fit and to maintain that fitness for as long as you possibly can."
- The Complete Manual of Fitness and Well-Being by Dr. Robert Arnot
My dear wife was snickering when she saw that next door to one of the many Curves fitness clubs in our city they are opening a similar club for guys. A place called The Blitz. Below the "Opening Soon" sign was another sign touting "20 Minute Total Fitness for Men".
"You can't get a good workout in 20 minutes" was my wife's quip. I would have to respond, with all due irreverence, that for too many guys and gals around here 20 minutes would be a good start...
Lets see... For a good workout your body needs to get warmed up. They say a good warm-up takes about 15 minutes. Plus you don't get aerobic benefit until you've exercised continuously a little below your maximum capacity for more than 15 - 30 minutes. So, I'm in agreement with my wife. But if the sign said "20 Minute Total Warm-up" it just wouldn't have the same selling appeal, would it? In my opinion a good workout takes at least an hour.
Ah, but who has the time?
It is easy to see the convenience appeal of Curves. Quick in, quick out. I'm told they don't even have showers. It is the least you can do and still say you exercised. Literally. There are over 8000 Curves in the U.S. which indicates remarkable success. It makes sense that something similar would appeal to guys. Especially when they throw in heavy punching bags to knock around.
Wait! In a local drug store I saw some wooden cubes in a box by the checkout. They had "Exercise Block" in bold black letters printed on one side. Being curious, I picked one up. Attached to the cube was a tag with more instructions. In short, it said to put the block on the floor in the middle of the room. Next walk around it twice. Congratulations, now you can tell everyone you walked around the block twice today! The ultimate in convenience fitness?
But I do have to recognize and praise the results that Curves members have achieved. Curves has lowered the barriers to getting started in a fitness routine and any start is better than none. Fitness results are a reflection of persistent effort which often involves overcoming motivational hurdles. Curves helps women get over the first hurdles. Hopefully The Blitz will do likewise for men.
"Health, vitality and long life are the goals that everyone would wish to aim for. These are not, however, achieved automatically. Because the 'civilized' habits of Western Life do more to diminish health than to increase it, fitness is something that has to be worked at.
...
Exercise, above all, makes you look and feel well. Few adults who have taken the trouble to get fit will ever allow themselves to become unfit again. You owe it to yourself to get your body fit and to maintain that fitness for as long as you possibly can."
- The Complete Manual of Fitness and Well-Being by Dr. Robert Arnot
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
The Garfield Gene
Garfield. You know ... the cartoon cat that loves lasagna. Not that we're related to the cat, but there must be some hereditary trait involved.
On Sunday my wife made a lasagna. From scratch. It took a while to put it together, and once it was in the oven the house smelled delicious. There is magic in a good lasagna. And this turned out to be a good lasagna. She made a large one assuring plenty of leftovers.
My wife admits that lasagna is one of her comfort foods. Although she may claim to make a lasagna for me, I know it is for us. A comfort food. What a concept... A food with the ability to make you feel better, contented, happier, relaxed, or some other beneficial emotional feeling. Yep, it must mean magic.
The second test of a good lasagna comes a day later. A good lasagna tastes as good, or better as a leftover. This lasagna had a healthy dose of garlic and the right blend of cheeses to help with that magic. Not too wet nor too dry. Honestly, after 2 dinners of that lasagna, this morning I asked our girls what kind of sandwich they wanted for lunch and one of them said "lasagna". So that's what she got. Not a sandwich, but a tupperware tote full. Hmmm, it must be lunch time. I'm thinking she had a good idea...
Garfield. You know ... the cartoon cat that loves lasagna. Not that we're related to the cat, but there must be some hereditary trait involved.
On Sunday my wife made a lasagna. From scratch. It took a while to put it together, and once it was in the oven the house smelled delicious. There is magic in a good lasagna. And this turned out to be a good lasagna. She made a large one assuring plenty of leftovers.
My wife admits that lasagna is one of her comfort foods. Although she may claim to make a lasagna for me, I know it is for us. A comfort food. What a concept... A food with the ability to make you feel better, contented, happier, relaxed, or some other beneficial emotional feeling. Yep, it must mean magic.
The second test of a good lasagna comes a day later. A good lasagna tastes as good, or better as a leftover. This lasagna had a healthy dose of garlic and the right blend of cheeses to help with that magic. Not too wet nor too dry. Honestly, after 2 dinners of that lasagna, this morning I asked our girls what kind of sandwich they wanted for lunch and one of them said "lasagna". So that's what she got. Not a sandwich, but a tupperware tote full. Hmmm, it must be lunch time. I'm thinking she had a good idea...
Thursday, September 02, 2004
"Can You Show Me"...
I got my first car during college. I bought it with cash I had earned and saved. An almost 15 year old Plymouth Valiant with the "straight six" engine and 3 speed manual transmission. Very white with a very red vinyl interior. It had no carpeting and a one speaker, AM only radio. Very boring and very reliable, but affordable... A short while later I fixed that problem. I found a newer convertible muscle car with a big V8 that was barely running. Without selling the Valiant I bought the convertible as a project car. It barely made it home.
I never took auto shop in school, but by the time I was done I could service and rebuild any part of that car. With the help of friends and by tackling the job I became a competent motorhead.
One summer, one of my younger sisters asked "can you help me with my car?". It needed an oil change and "can you show me how to do it?". By then I was used to turning down friends and acquaintances who would offer me a 6-pack of beer or some nominal fee if I'd do a tune-up (or more) for them. But this was different. She wanted to learn. Or so it seemed. I went with her to get the replacement oil and filter. I explained as I went through the steps for changing the oil. She was happy and I felt good from having done good.
About six months later that same sister asked "can you help me with my car?". Once again it needed an oil change. "But I showed you how to do it last time" was my response. "That was a long time ago and I forgot" was hers. "Can you show me again?". So this time I said I would talk her through doing it. She tried to coax me and persuade me to show her again. When that didn't work she went off to try to get a boyfriend to do it. I was left chuckling about it.
That sister now has a Bachelors degree in Business, an MBA and her CPA. She is no dummy. I still think back on her ruse and the value of playing the "can you help me" card, when it is needed. I still chuckle about it.
Did I ever help her with her car again? Let's just say that later on she figured out my weakness for a good fresh strawberry pie ...but that's another story...
I got my first car during college. I bought it with cash I had earned and saved. An almost 15 year old Plymouth Valiant with the "straight six" engine and 3 speed manual transmission. Very white with a very red vinyl interior. It had no carpeting and a one speaker, AM only radio. Very boring and very reliable, but affordable... A short while later I fixed that problem. I found a newer convertible muscle car with a big V8 that was barely running. Without selling the Valiant I bought the convertible as a project car. It barely made it home.
I never took auto shop in school, but by the time I was done I could service and rebuild any part of that car. With the help of friends and by tackling the job I became a competent motorhead.
One summer, one of my younger sisters asked "can you help me with my car?". It needed an oil change and "can you show me how to do it?". By then I was used to turning down friends and acquaintances who would offer me a 6-pack of beer or some nominal fee if I'd do a tune-up (or more) for them. But this was different. She wanted to learn. Or so it seemed. I went with her to get the replacement oil and filter. I explained as I went through the steps for changing the oil. She was happy and I felt good from having done good.
About six months later that same sister asked "can you help me with my car?". Once again it needed an oil change. "But I showed you how to do it last time" was my response. "That was a long time ago and I forgot" was hers. "Can you show me again?". So this time I said I would talk her through doing it. She tried to coax me and persuade me to show her again. When that didn't work she went off to try to get a boyfriend to do it. I was left chuckling about it.
That sister now has a Bachelors degree in Business, an MBA and her CPA. She is no dummy. I still think back on her ruse and the value of playing the "can you help me" card, when it is needed. I still chuckle about it.
Did I ever help her with her car again? Let's just say that later on she figured out my weakness for a good fresh strawberry pie ...but that's another story...
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
My Dearest Eldest Daughter
I am blessed with two beautiful daughters. While I would like to have been blessed with a boy, the outcome is the way it is. It is more of a blessing than I'll admit since I know nothing about growing up as a little girl. So responsibility in that area becomes my wife's job. I get to raise the boys and there aren't any. My job is to be the proud father of two girls. Yep, I'm doomed to live in a house of beautiful women.
When my second daughter was born I joked with my wife about how I was going to take my pick of the two to raise as a boy. I was just joking, mind you. But I am the one who gets them out of the house to bike and play ball and other things that can cause bumps and bruises. I am the one they can climb on and wrestle with.
This morning my eldest daughter complained that she didn't have room in her lunch box for a banana. She said the banana was too big. She has one of those lunch boxes that would fit a six-pack of sodas and still have room, so I was skeptical. She showed me that her lunch was filled right up to the top and sure enough there was no more room. So I asked her what was under her lunch. I discovered her treasure stash.
The bottom of her lunch box was filled with treasures. A badminton birdie, a hackensack ball, a monopoly board marker, a tatty pencil, a dyed purple feather, assorted bottle caps and lots and lots of other knick-knacks. After we took those out there was plenty of room for the lunch with the banana.
My eldest daughter isn't one of those dainty girls that play with polly pockets and princess ponies at school. She is one of the few who likes to play with the boys as well as the girls. And sometimes the boys do things that are more interesting. Tomboy? Maybe a touch. She is very much a girl with a strong sense of sugar and spice and everything nice. But there's a healthy dose of the frogs and snails and puppydog tails in there too.
So I am amused by her packrat stash of things similar to what you would expect a boy to collect. I think you can guess which of my daughters I would pick to raise as a boy... But there is no mistaking her for a little boy. She is very much a little girl as well as her own person!
I am blessed with two beautiful daughters. While I would like to have been blessed with a boy, the outcome is the way it is. It is more of a blessing than I'll admit since I know nothing about growing up as a little girl. So responsibility in that area becomes my wife's job. I get to raise the boys and there aren't any. My job is to be the proud father of two girls. Yep, I'm doomed to live in a house of beautiful women.
When my second daughter was born I joked with my wife about how I was going to take my pick of the two to raise as a boy. I was just joking, mind you. But I am the one who gets them out of the house to bike and play ball and other things that can cause bumps and bruises. I am the one they can climb on and wrestle with.
This morning my eldest daughter complained that she didn't have room in her lunch box for a banana. She said the banana was too big. She has one of those lunch boxes that would fit a six-pack of sodas and still have room, so I was skeptical. She showed me that her lunch was filled right up to the top and sure enough there was no more room. So I asked her what was under her lunch. I discovered her treasure stash.
The bottom of her lunch box was filled with treasures. A badminton birdie, a hackensack ball, a monopoly board marker, a tatty pencil, a dyed purple feather, assorted bottle caps and lots and lots of other knick-knacks. After we took those out there was plenty of room for the lunch with the banana.
My eldest daughter isn't one of those dainty girls that play with polly pockets and princess ponies at school. She is one of the few who likes to play with the boys as well as the girls. And sometimes the boys do things that are more interesting. Tomboy? Maybe a touch. She is very much a girl with a strong sense of sugar and spice and everything nice. But there's a healthy dose of the frogs and snails and puppydog tails in there too.
So I am amused by her packrat stash of things similar to what you would expect a boy to collect. I think you can guess which of my daughters I would pick to raise as a boy... But there is no mistaking her for a little boy. She is very much a little girl as well as her own person!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Goodbye Mungo...
A good friend of mine lost a dear companion Monday night. Mungo, his 5 year old female Rottweiller (large breed dog) passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I was the last person other than him to see Mungo. She was full of energy and acting like a puppy. She was her usual rambunctious and social self. She was also a smart, obedient and loyal dog. Now my friend lives alone and is coping with the loss.
He sent out a notification and picture memorial to those of us who knew Mungo. Remembering their time spent together. I hope that he realizes that she lived well and was the happy dog she was because of him.
I know that those of you who, like my wife and I have lost pets that were dear to us will understand the loss. It becomes a void that can never be filled again. We carry the memories of how they touched our lives and we touched theirs...
A good friend of mine lost a dear companion Monday night. Mungo, his 5 year old female Rottweiller (large breed dog) passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I was the last person other than him to see Mungo. She was full of energy and acting like a puppy. She was her usual rambunctious and social self. She was also a smart, obedient and loyal dog. Now my friend lives alone and is coping with the loss.
He sent out a notification and picture memorial to those of us who knew Mungo. Remembering their time spent together. I hope that he realizes that she lived well and was the happy dog she was because of him.
I know that those of you who, like my wife and I have lost pets that were dear to us will understand the loss. It becomes a void that can never be filled again. We carry the memories of how they touched our lives and we touched theirs...
Monday, August 16, 2004
Lies, Damn Lies and Tax Returns...
If you filed your 2003 US tax return before the end of 2003, congratulations! You did the impossible. If you filed before the April 15th 2004 filing date, again, congratulations. You (or your accountant) got the job done in time. If you filed for the extension and make the August 16th extension date you should enjoy a sigh of relief. Because if you didn't and don't qualify for the special 2nd extension tomorrow you will be a criminal.
But wait! Why would anyone take so long to finish their taxes? Missing information? Tax reporting screw-up? Maybe because there is that unfathomable stack of instructions, worksheets, forms and numbers to fill in. Maybe because there are penalties for underpayment and for mistakes (but only those in your favor). Maybe you are stuck in the grey zone between overpayment and underpayment or want to be careful so you don't trigger that evil audit. Maybe it's because even the experts have trouble figuring out some of the tax stuff.
Every year, some US magazine or publication sends out packets with a fictitious, yet realistic set of financial information to a number of different tax experts and compares the responses. Every year they get a range of results. It is amazing that even the "experts" don't agree on an answer. I remember one survey where the answers for a "working middle class couple with a vacation property transaction" ranged from owing a couple thousand dollars to getting a couple thousand dollars back. So, which expert was right? How could any of them be right when none of them got the same result as the single IRS expert in the survey?
A CPA tax accountant told me about how they run into situations, especially with tax law changes, where it is not clear what the "right" answer should be. So they send a letter to the IRS asking for a clarification. Actually, they send several letters to the IRS ... and then use the most favorable response. Yep, even different IRS experts give different answers. Does this make sense? It does if you accept that there is no right answer. Only acceptable and unacceptable answers. I guess when you have an IRS letter to back it up, that answer is an acceptable answer.
The CPA also told me about the file drawer his company had for "special" returns where they tracked the statute of limitations date ... the date after which the return can't be audited. I guess that's another way to get an acceptable answer. Keep good records, hold your breath and hope it doesn't get questioned.
So how is the average taxpayer supposed to avoid underpayment and overpayment? Again, that is not clear. There is (currently) no penalty for overpaying your taxes. It's up to you to find the best acceptable answer ... without getting audited or arrested.
May your return never trigger an audit!
If you filed your 2003 US tax return before the end of 2003, congratulations! You did the impossible. If you filed before the April 15th 2004 filing date, again, congratulations. You (or your accountant) got the job done in time. If you filed for the extension and make the August 16th extension date you should enjoy a sigh of relief. Because if you didn't and don't qualify for the special 2nd extension tomorrow you will be a criminal.
But wait! Why would anyone take so long to finish their taxes? Missing information? Tax reporting screw-up? Maybe because there is that unfathomable stack of instructions, worksheets, forms and numbers to fill in. Maybe because there are penalties for underpayment and for mistakes (but only those in your favor). Maybe you are stuck in the grey zone between overpayment and underpayment or want to be careful so you don't trigger that evil audit. Maybe it's because even the experts have trouble figuring out some of the tax stuff.
Every year, some US magazine or publication sends out packets with a fictitious, yet realistic set of financial information to a number of different tax experts and compares the responses. Every year they get a range of results. It is amazing that even the "experts" don't agree on an answer. I remember one survey where the answers for a "working middle class couple with a vacation property transaction" ranged from owing a couple thousand dollars to getting a couple thousand dollars back. So, which expert was right? How could any of them be right when none of them got the same result as the single IRS expert in the survey?
A CPA tax accountant told me about how they run into situations, especially with tax law changes, where it is not clear what the "right" answer should be. So they send a letter to the IRS asking for a clarification. Actually, they send several letters to the IRS ... and then use the most favorable response. Yep, even different IRS experts give different answers. Does this make sense? It does if you accept that there is no right answer. Only acceptable and unacceptable answers. I guess when you have an IRS letter to back it up, that answer is an acceptable answer.
The CPA also told me about the file drawer his company had for "special" returns where they tracked the statute of limitations date ... the date after which the return can't be audited. I guess that's another way to get an acceptable answer. Keep good records, hold your breath and hope it doesn't get questioned.
So how is the average taxpayer supposed to avoid underpayment and overpayment? Again, that is not clear. There is (currently) no penalty for overpaying your taxes. It's up to you to find the best acceptable answer ... without getting audited or arrested.
May your return never trigger an audit!
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
The Packrat Gene
My Grandfather had it. His radio repair shop was always crowded with stuff. It was one of those places that had an air of cozy clutter that made it special. My Grandmother was worse. She was always starting new hobbies, collecting stuff and, well, just plain packratting. Upstairs, in the basement, her house held an overflowing bounty of treasures. When Grandpa retired and Grandma got a nice inheritance from her mother they bought a much bigger farmhouse and she set about proving the adage that "the amount of stuff you have will always grow to exceed the space you have for it". Imagine, if you can, a very large 2 story farmhouse with narrow paths between boxes and piles of ... treasures. From the basement to the walk-in attic. And then there was the large barnhouse. Yep, she had a strong packrat gene.
You know what I'm talking about, right? The gene that causes people to collect stuff. To save stuff. The natural drive that tells you to save that extra widget that came with the whats-it because you know that someday you will need it for something. The natural drive that won't let you part with that collection of old papers or magazines or cassette tapes, even though you haven't read or listened to them in years. The natural drive that has you looking for treasures in other people's junk at flea markets and garage sales. Yes, the powerful gene that led to the multi-billion dollar success of eBay.
So it only makes sense that my brothers, sisters and I have the packrat gene too. It becomes competitive and visionary, really. Having all those valuables and projects that will someday lead to wonderful things. My wife has it. At least when it comes to cross-stitch stuff. She must have enough to start her own small shop. My kids have it too. Just look at their room...
Throughout history, you can track the evolution of this gene along with civilization. From simple collectors and gatherers, mankind progressed to an ever higher order ... of packratting. This is a natural evolution driven by society and environment. Starting with food and with tools, and leading to the most valuable items in our society ... priceless collectables. Getting more stuff and keeping it safe is a challenge. It tests organizational, memory, and management skills. How can you fit more stuff in less space while protecting it and getting even more stuff and more space? And then remembering where each piece is, as well as getting the ones you still need? Yes, it is an evolutionary progression that constantly tests and drives the genetic development of many valuable skills and abilities.
Besides, you know that when you need that widget, even if you can no longer find it you can say "I told you so"...
My Grandfather had it. His radio repair shop was always crowded with stuff. It was one of those places that had an air of cozy clutter that made it special. My Grandmother was worse. She was always starting new hobbies, collecting stuff and, well, just plain packratting. Upstairs, in the basement, her house held an overflowing bounty of treasures. When Grandpa retired and Grandma got a nice inheritance from her mother they bought a much bigger farmhouse and she set about proving the adage that "the amount of stuff you have will always grow to exceed the space you have for it". Imagine, if you can, a very large 2 story farmhouse with narrow paths between boxes and piles of ... treasures. From the basement to the walk-in attic. And then there was the large barnhouse. Yep, she had a strong packrat gene.
You know what I'm talking about, right? The gene that causes people to collect stuff. To save stuff. The natural drive that tells you to save that extra widget that came with the whats-it because you know that someday you will need it for something. The natural drive that won't let you part with that collection of old papers or magazines or cassette tapes, even though you haven't read or listened to them in years. The natural drive that has you looking for treasures in other people's junk at flea markets and garage sales. Yes, the powerful gene that led to the multi-billion dollar success of eBay.
So it only makes sense that my brothers, sisters and I have the packrat gene too. It becomes competitive and visionary, really. Having all those valuables and projects that will someday lead to wonderful things. My wife has it. At least when it comes to cross-stitch stuff. She must have enough to start her own small shop. My kids have it too. Just look at their room...
Throughout history, you can track the evolution of this gene along with civilization. From simple collectors and gatherers, mankind progressed to an ever higher order ... of packratting. This is a natural evolution driven by society and environment. Starting with food and with tools, and leading to the most valuable items in our society ... priceless collectables. Getting more stuff and keeping it safe is a challenge. It tests organizational, memory, and management skills. How can you fit more stuff in less space while protecting it and getting even more stuff and more space? And then remembering where each piece is, as well as getting the ones you still need? Yes, it is an evolutionary progression that constantly tests and drives the genetic development of many valuable skills and abilities.
Besides, you know that when you need that widget, even if you can no longer find it you can say "I told you so"...
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Alas...
OK, I guess it had to happen. My dear wife commented on my gut. My gut...
So ... Deep breath, set the ego aside and try to take it in the supportive concerned spirit that it was (hopefully) meant. Admittedly it does seem harder to keep the belly padding off.
There is an enlightening article called Why are We So Fat? in the August 2004 National Geographic. They say the "slow metabolism" excuse is out. It is simply a matter of calories in, calories out and we are challenged from both sides. The foods and portions we face have gotten larger, higher in calories and easier for the body to convert to fat. Then our lifestyle and modern conveniences make less demands on those calories.
Portions. We eat too much, plain and simple. The ways that foods are sold in restaurants and stores makes it more economical to buy larger portions. But bigger is not better. Once the body has what it needs, it is easy to keep eating. "The First Law of Fat says that anything you eat beyond your immediate need for energy, from avocados to ziti, converts to fat." So that adult sized meal can be a bigger culprit than it appears.
The low-fat message has backfired. By leaving out fats, a normal appetite led to filling the void with other foods. Mostly carbohydrates and easy calories! And now the pendulum has swung the other way with the Atkins diet to avoid carbohydrates and load up on fats and proteins again. Atkins is right about us eating too many simple carbohydrates, but replacing them with fatty foods increases heart disease and other associated health problems. And the real answer; eating the more complex carbohydrates instead of the simple ones becomes elusive because they are harder to find and tend to be more expensive.
Then there's the calories-out side of the equation. Public health officials recommend exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day but acknowledge that one in every four Americans doesn't get any exercise at all. And apparently I have a higher measure of what constitutes exercise than they do. To me, exercise means getting the heart rate up, working the muscles, sweating, and aspiring for a higher level of fitness. Things like walking, climbing a flight of stairs, simple stretches count as activity, not exercise. But even replacing an activity with a convenience such as going to the carwash instead of hand washing your car can mean 100+ calories less burned. Riding instead of walking, escalators instead of stairs, and the availablility of more and more conveniences makes it harder to use up the energy our appetite tells us to ingest.
OK, so I understand the challenge. I am the keeper of my gut and more attention is needed. Another facet of the discipline needed in life to stay fit.
OK, I guess it had to happen. My dear wife commented on my gut. My gut...
So ... Deep breath, set the ego aside and try to take it in the supportive concerned spirit that it was (hopefully) meant. Admittedly it does seem harder to keep the belly padding off.
There is an enlightening article called Why are We So Fat? in the August 2004 National Geographic. They say the "slow metabolism" excuse is out. It is simply a matter of calories in, calories out and we are challenged from both sides. The foods and portions we face have gotten larger, higher in calories and easier for the body to convert to fat. Then our lifestyle and modern conveniences make less demands on those calories.
Portions. We eat too much, plain and simple. The ways that foods are sold in restaurants and stores makes it more economical to buy larger portions. But bigger is not better. Once the body has what it needs, it is easy to keep eating. "The First Law of Fat says that anything you eat beyond your immediate need for energy, from avocados to ziti, converts to fat." So that adult sized meal can be a bigger culprit than it appears.
The low-fat message has backfired. By leaving out fats, a normal appetite led to filling the void with other foods. Mostly carbohydrates and easy calories! And now the pendulum has swung the other way with the Atkins diet to avoid carbohydrates and load up on fats and proteins again. Atkins is right about us eating too many simple carbohydrates, but replacing them with fatty foods increases heart disease and other associated health problems. And the real answer; eating the more complex carbohydrates instead of the simple ones becomes elusive because they are harder to find and tend to be more expensive.
Then there's the calories-out side of the equation. Public health officials recommend exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day but acknowledge that one in every four Americans doesn't get any exercise at all. And apparently I have a higher measure of what constitutes exercise than they do. To me, exercise means getting the heart rate up, working the muscles, sweating, and aspiring for a higher level of fitness. Things like walking, climbing a flight of stairs, simple stretches count as activity, not exercise. But even replacing an activity with a convenience such as going to the carwash instead of hand washing your car can mean 100+ calories less burned. Riding instead of walking, escalators instead of stairs, and the availablility of more and more conveniences makes it harder to use up the energy our appetite tells us to ingest.
OK, so I understand the challenge. I am the keeper of my gut and more attention is needed. Another facet of the discipline needed in life to stay fit.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
How Fit Can You Get?
Ask yourself:
What was the best shape you were ever in?
And then change the question to look ahead as well as in the past:
What is the best shape you will ever be in?
Is it ahead of you or behind you??? Or is it now? Hold that image in your mind.
Did you think of being in your best shape as looking good or do you think of it as being physically capable? Both? When you read the questions, I hope you had a vision of your level of fitness being at its best. I hope the vision you had was when you were, are, or will be your best at running, swimming, bicycling, climbing, or anything you do that is physically challenging.
And before we get too far along we need to understand what fitness means. Most pundits measure fitness as achieving:
But "wait!" you might be saying. "What about body weight and body fat ratios?" "Those are important for being in good shape, right?" Yes, diet and exercise are both important to good fitness. No, weight and body fat are not good measures of fitness. They are related, and so they can reflect on fitness. We tend to have rather sedentary lifestyles, so lower weight and body fat ratios are generally noble goals. But some people get obsessed with their weight and sacrifice fitness or health altogether. Granted, our physical appetites and the body's tendency to build fat reserves can make it tough to stay fit, but we can also gain or lose weight without getting in good shape. The simplest argument for this is that diets can change weight and fat ratios, but by themselves do nothing to improve a person's level of fitness. In fact they can reduce it by reducing nutrients and energy levels. I have always advocated that fitness is more important to quality of life than weight management. The focus shouldn't be weight, it should be fitness. But while watching the weight scale won't tell you what kind of shape you're in, I recognize that good fitness often depends on managing weight too.
After I graduated from college and started a new job I joined a local health club. My goal was to put on some muscle and bulk up a bit. I wanted to improve my fitness with an emphasis on muscular strength. I got into a steady routine of going 3 evenings a week plus one weekend day. Then I discovered I enjoyed aerobics classes. Well, so much for bulking up... I found 2 instructors who were excellent and started going to their classes. After work, my typical workout was warmup stretching, 15-20 minutes on a cycle to warm up, more stretching, 30-60 minutes of nautilus machines and free weights, and 1 or 2 hours of aerobics. It totaled up to three to four hours a visit... After 18 months I only weighed about 15 pounds more than when I started, but my buoyancy was underwater. In a swimming pool I no longer floated at the surface, but a couple inches under. I hadn't bulked up as I wanted, but I was solid. I could do more push-ups, pull-ups, and bar dips than most of the other club members. And was more flexible than most. Thinking back, that was my fitness peak so far ... and was too long ago.
Actually, from when I joined, I lost over 10 pounds before I started gaining weight, so I count it as 25 pounds of bulking up. Which with all the aerobic exercise I accepted this as good progress. Looking back, it was a lot of sweat, and worth it.
Moving forward to today, my dear wife persists with her workouts. She recently told me that her pants are fitting looser. What a wonderful problem to have! A couple of months ago after she had been going for about a month she told me about her progress. I told her it was a good start. And I meant this as encouragement, like "you're doing great, keep it up". But for some reason she took it as criticism of some sort... As if I would want to put any damper on her enthusiasm about getting in better shape. But damned if I do, damned if I don't sometimes because there will always be something about what I say or don't say or how I said it. This time after hearing about the loose pants I was more tactful about my encouragement, and I told her that I would gladly get her new pants, which she took well (I think...).
And since she has been working out diligently, I have been more motivated to go to my gym. She and I can't work out together. We learned early on that our goals, methods, and likings are too different. But she keeps telling me about things that work for her and I do likewise. I am now going for a little over an hour 3 times a week, so I'm the one at "good start". Now that the days are longer I'll be jumping on the mountain bike to do some cardio work too. Hopefully we'll both be moving along to the "next level" towards getting in the best shape we've ever been.
I remember talking with a work associate who had returned after spending a month bicycling across the United States. That's right. He rode with a group of bicyclists from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean. And not by the shortest route either. One of the things he found remarkable was that while he was riding so much he could eat as much of just about anything he wanted and not worry. All those fatty, protein and carb loaded foods. His body would metabolize everything it could get. But now that he was back he really had to watch his diet.
I found an interesting article about a lawsuit filed in Chicago. Supposedly some woman sued the company that made her couch because of the 100+ pounds she gained while sitting on it. Apparently they are to blame for not providing warnings... I haven't substantiated the article, so it may just be another "web fiction". Or maybe that suit failed and now she's one of the people suing McDonalds for how their food makes people fat. Hmmm, I think I know a bike ride these people need to go on...
Staying in shape becomes harder as we get older. And as with any challenge, we can tackle it or surrender to it. Fitness is important to quality of life. So, it is up to each of us to make sure the rest of ours is the best it can be.
Ask yourself:
What was the best shape you were ever in?
And then change the question to look ahead as well as in the past:
What is the best shape you will ever be in?
Is it ahead of you or behind you??? Or is it now? Hold that image in your mind.
Did you think of being in your best shape as looking good or do you think of it as being physically capable? Both? When you read the questions, I hope you had a vision of your level of fitness being at its best. I hope the vision you had was when you were, are, or will be your best at running, swimming, bicycling, climbing, or anything you do that is physically challenging.
And before we get too far along we need to understand what fitness means. Most pundits measure fitness as achieving:
- Aerobic fitness
- Muscular strength
- Coordination
- Flexibility
But "wait!" you might be saying. "What about body weight and body fat ratios?" "Those are important for being in good shape, right?" Yes, diet and exercise are both important to good fitness. No, weight and body fat are not good measures of fitness. They are related, and so they can reflect on fitness. We tend to have rather sedentary lifestyles, so lower weight and body fat ratios are generally noble goals. But some people get obsessed with their weight and sacrifice fitness or health altogether. Granted, our physical appetites and the body's tendency to build fat reserves can make it tough to stay fit, but we can also gain or lose weight without getting in good shape. The simplest argument for this is that diets can change weight and fat ratios, but by themselves do nothing to improve a person's level of fitness. In fact they can reduce it by reducing nutrients and energy levels. I have always advocated that fitness is more important to quality of life than weight management. The focus shouldn't be weight, it should be fitness. But while watching the weight scale won't tell you what kind of shape you're in, I recognize that good fitness often depends on managing weight too.
After I graduated from college and started a new job I joined a local health club. My goal was to put on some muscle and bulk up a bit. I wanted to improve my fitness with an emphasis on muscular strength. I got into a steady routine of going 3 evenings a week plus one weekend day. Then I discovered I enjoyed aerobics classes. Well, so much for bulking up... I found 2 instructors who were excellent and started going to their classes. After work, my typical workout was warmup stretching, 15-20 minutes on a cycle to warm up, more stretching, 30-60 minutes of nautilus machines and free weights, and 1 or 2 hours of aerobics. It totaled up to three to four hours a visit... After 18 months I only weighed about 15 pounds more than when I started, but my buoyancy was underwater. In a swimming pool I no longer floated at the surface, but a couple inches under. I hadn't bulked up as I wanted, but I was solid. I could do more push-ups, pull-ups, and bar dips than most of the other club members. And was more flexible than most. Thinking back, that was my fitness peak so far ... and was too long ago.
Actually, from when I joined, I lost over 10 pounds before I started gaining weight, so I count it as 25 pounds of bulking up. Which with all the aerobic exercise I accepted this as good progress. Looking back, it was a lot of sweat, and worth it.
Moving forward to today, my dear wife persists with her workouts. She recently told me that her pants are fitting looser. What a wonderful problem to have! A couple of months ago after she had been going for about a month she told me about her progress. I told her it was a good start. And I meant this as encouragement, like "you're doing great, keep it up". But for some reason she took it as criticism of some sort... As if I would want to put any damper on her enthusiasm about getting in better shape. But damned if I do, damned if I don't sometimes because there will always be something about what I say or don't say or how I said it. This time after hearing about the loose pants I was more tactful about my encouragement, and I told her that I would gladly get her new pants, which she took well (I think...).
And since she has been working out diligently, I have been more motivated to go to my gym. She and I can't work out together. We learned early on that our goals, methods, and likings are too different. But she keeps telling me about things that work for her and I do likewise. I am now going for a little over an hour 3 times a week, so I'm the one at "good start". Now that the days are longer I'll be jumping on the mountain bike to do some cardio work too. Hopefully we'll both be moving along to the "next level" towards getting in the best shape we've ever been.
I remember talking with a work associate who had returned after spending a month bicycling across the United States. That's right. He rode with a group of bicyclists from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean. And not by the shortest route either. One of the things he found remarkable was that while he was riding so much he could eat as much of just about anything he wanted and not worry. All those fatty, protein and carb loaded foods. His body would metabolize everything it could get. But now that he was back he really had to watch his diet.
I found an interesting article about a lawsuit filed in Chicago. Supposedly some woman sued the company that made her couch because of the 100+ pounds she gained while sitting on it. Apparently they are to blame for not providing warnings... I haven't substantiated the article, so it may just be another "web fiction". Or maybe that suit failed and now she's one of the people suing McDonalds for how their food makes people fat. Hmmm, I think I know a bike ride these people need to go on...
Staying in shape becomes harder as we get older. And as with any challenge, we can tackle it or surrender to it. Fitness is important to quality of life. So, it is up to each of us to make sure the rest of ours is the best it can be.
Friday, May 28, 2004
1 + 1 = 3
One of my favorite fall-back jokes goes:
Ask an Engineer "what is 1 + 1?"
"Two point zero, zero, zero..."
Ask a lawyer "what is 1 + 1?"
"Sometimes 2, sometimes not..."
Ask an accountant "what is 1 + 1?"
"What number would you like it to be?"
I have learned that 1 + 1 = 3. Or at least it does when paying lawyers.
I have a male friend who is going through a nasty divorce. And apparently such divorces are lawyer intensive. He hired a lawyer and she hired one and since she hasn't worked in years he gets to pay for both. In what seemed like good logic to him at the time, he decided to hire a second lawyer for himself. He hired a lower priced (but still costly) lawyer to handle all the routine and time consuming stuff. Then he hired the "heavy hitter" (read: expensive!) to make sure he had the best representation. It makes sense so far. But what happens when you hire 2 lawyers? Their charges triple! The situation grows exponentially. Not only did the lawyers have overlapping billable time overhead for research time and meetings with him, but frequently his 2 lawyers planned and communicated with each other, which is also charged to my friend at full rates. And then add her lawyer to the loops. As things have progressed (not well for him) the 3 lawyers have been doing all they can to ride the gravy train as far as it will go... That is, until his money is gone.
At this point, he says that giving into her "unreasonable" demands at the beginning would have been a better outcome then his current situation. So now he realizes that he paid a lot of money to get a worse outcome, following the counsel of his lawyers. Too bad he can't hold his lawyers accountable for the unfavorable outcome they guided him to.
One of my favorite fall-back jokes goes:
Ask an Engineer "what is 1 + 1?"
"Two point zero, zero, zero..."
Ask a lawyer "what is 1 + 1?"
"Sometimes 2, sometimes not..."
Ask an accountant "what is 1 + 1?"
"What number would you like it to be?"
I have learned that 1 + 1 = 3. Or at least it does when paying lawyers.
I have a male friend who is going through a nasty divorce. And apparently such divorces are lawyer intensive. He hired a lawyer and she hired one and since she hasn't worked in years he gets to pay for both. In what seemed like good logic to him at the time, he decided to hire a second lawyer for himself. He hired a lower priced (but still costly) lawyer to handle all the routine and time consuming stuff. Then he hired the "heavy hitter" (read: expensive!) to make sure he had the best representation. It makes sense so far. But what happens when you hire 2 lawyers? Their charges triple! The situation grows exponentially. Not only did the lawyers have overlapping billable time overhead for research time and meetings with him, but frequently his 2 lawyers planned and communicated with each other, which is also charged to my friend at full rates. And then add her lawyer to the loops. As things have progressed (not well for him) the 3 lawyers have been doing all they can to ride the gravy train as far as it will go... That is, until his money is gone.
At this point, he says that giving into her "unreasonable" demands at the beginning would have been a better outcome then his current situation. So now he realizes that he paid a lot of money to get a worse outcome, following the counsel of his lawyers. Too bad he can't hold his lawyers accountable for the unfavorable outcome they guided him to.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Hybrids ... Another Popular Folk Remedy?
I am surprised by the number of people who have the impression that hybrid automobiles hold an answer to the energy crisis. Am I one of a few who see it as merely replacing one energy problem with another?
I visited my bank today. Through the big glass windows you can see the sign at the gas station on the corner. The lowest grade of gasoline was $2.299 (US) per gallon. The premium stuff was truly at a "premium" of $2.499; Yow! I realize that this price might be considered cheap overseas, but in recent history here; Yow! As the cashier counted out my money I said; "Well, that should last the week ... unless I have to buy gas." He chuckled and replied with. "At least more hybrids cars will help."
"Not really", I replied. And he went for it...
I explained that whether it's gasoline or natural gas, it takes just as much energy to move his car. Physics at its simplest. It just becomes a matter of considering the relative cost of that energy, which in a free market is driven by supply and demand. The energy source that has less demand and is more available should be the cheaper, right? "But hybrids use electricity..." I asked him where the electricity comes from. "From the battery" was his answer. I quickly set aside a humorous vision of him changing the flashlight batteries in his future hybrid SUV. I went on to tell him that the batteries had to be frequently recharged with energy and that natural gas is used to generate most of the electricity around here. By using an electric hybrid, you are simply replacing X joules of energy worth of gasoline with X joules of energy from electricity that is generated from X+++ joules of natural gas. Or by X+++ joules of gasoline if the hybrid recharges itself using the gas engine. (Joules is an international measure of work or energy). Gasoline prices are rising, but by shifting some of the demand to electricity and natural gas, aren't those costs going to rise with demand too? Isn't electricity already expensive? Slowly I could see he was getting the idea... There is no magical "hybrid" perpetual motion machine.
He was smart to ask; "So what's the solution". I told him "efficiency". "It's the demand for energy that adds up, so the less energy we use per person to get us where we're going the less it will cost us." Idealistic and oversimplified? Yes ... but I hope you get my point. And yes, electric hybrids have some inherent efficiencies (like using less energy while at a stop) that may prove best in some cases.
Later at home I did some homework using my most recent prices for gasoline and electricity to figure a comparable cost per unit of energy. The values and conversions are from Oak Ridge National Laboratory bioenergy site at http://bioenergy.ornl.gov
Gasoline
$2.30 per US gallon
121 MJ (MegaJoules) of energy in 1 US gallon
gives us $0.019 per MJ of energy
Electricity
$0.1332 per kWh (what I get charged at home)
1 kWh = 3.6 MJ
gives us $0.037 per MJ of energy
Hmmm, in my case electric energy costs almost twice as much as gasoline energy. Maybe a hybrid house makes more sense...?
Note: the figures don't account for the differing losses of getting the energy to the wheels of the car.
Well, before I start preaching about future energy woes ... Does anybody else see that hybrid cars are a band-aid at best? That they address a small part of the problem and could be less efficient and more expensive to operate? I can foresee class action lawsuits already.
I am surprised by the number of people who have the impression that hybrid automobiles hold an answer to the energy crisis. Am I one of a few who see it as merely replacing one energy problem with another?
I visited my bank today. Through the big glass windows you can see the sign at the gas station on the corner. The lowest grade of gasoline was $2.299 (US) per gallon. The premium stuff was truly at a "premium" of $2.499; Yow! I realize that this price might be considered cheap overseas, but in recent history here; Yow! As the cashier counted out my money I said; "Well, that should last the week ... unless I have to buy gas." He chuckled and replied with. "At least more hybrids cars will help."
"Not really", I replied. And he went for it...
I explained that whether it's gasoline or natural gas, it takes just as much energy to move his car. Physics at its simplest. It just becomes a matter of considering the relative cost of that energy, which in a free market is driven by supply and demand. The energy source that has less demand and is more available should be the cheaper, right? "But hybrids use electricity..." I asked him where the electricity comes from. "From the battery" was his answer. I quickly set aside a humorous vision of him changing the flashlight batteries in his future hybrid SUV. I went on to tell him that the batteries had to be frequently recharged with energy and that natural gas is used to generate most of the electricity around here. By using an electric hybrid, you are simply replacing X joules of energy worth of gasoline with X joules of energy from electricity that is generated from X+++ joules of natural gas. Or by X+++ joules of gasoline if the hybrid recharges itself using the gas engine. (Joules is an international measure of work or energy). Gasoline prices are rising, but by shifting some of the demand to electricity and natural gas, aren't those costs going to rise with demand too? Isn't electricity already expensive? Slowly I could see he was getting the idea... There is no magical "hybrid" perpetual motion machine.
He was smart to ask; "So what's the solution". I told him "efficiency". "It's the demand for energy that adds up, so the less energy we use per person to get us where we're going the less it will cost us." Idealistic and oversimplified? Yes ... but I hope you get my point. And yes, electric hybrids have some inherent efficiencies (like using less energy while at a stop) that may prove best in some cases.
Later at home I did some homework using my most recent prices for gasoline and electricity to figure a comparable cost per unit of energy. The values and conversions are from Oak Ridge National Laboratory bioenergy site at http://bioenergy.ornl.gov
Gasoline
$2.30 per US gallon
121 MJ (MegaJoules) of energy in 1 US gallon
gives us $0.019 per MJ of energy
Electricity
$0.1332 per kWh (what I get charged at home)
1 kWh = 3.6 MJ
gives us $0.037 per MJ of energy
Hmmm, in my case electric energy costs almost twice as much as gasoline energy. Maybe a hybrid house makes more sense...?
Note: the figures don't account for the differing losses of getting the energy to the wheels of the car.
Well, before I start preaching about future energy woes ... Does anybody else see that hybrid cars are a band-aid at best? That they address a small part of the problem and could be less efficient and more expensive to operate? I can foresee class action lawsuits already.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Put Your Behind In Your Past
My personal philosophy about destiny is based on beliefs that the past cannot be changed, and the future holds a myriad of possible outcomes. You exist in your present, which is the nexus where your immediate future is becoming your immediate past. Your present holds your focus of awareness. You can and should learn from your past, but the past has become known and unchangeable. The future is uncertain until you get there. In this way, your future is what you make of the present as it becomes your past. We each control our actions within the limitations allowed by our lives at present, which is ever moving into our future. And so we guide our destiny. The point in time and space from which we steer our lives onward is the present that we have steered ourselves to... The progression of our lives in time is continuous and time never stops no matter how badly we'd like it to.
To me, the knowledge that we can visualize and work to achieve future goals validates the belief that we control our destinies. Along with our knowledge of achievements made because of decisions we deliberately made.
This, in part, is why I have little sympathy for the "poor, poor, pitiful me" mentality. If someone isn't trying to make the best of their life, well, they aren't likely to have a very good life. Plain and simple. If someone is caught up in feeling sorry for themselves and trying to get others to feel sympathy, they are only working to prove their failure. They need to move beyond the "why is this happening to me?", stop blaming it on life's misfortunes and start asking "what can I do to make the best of my future?". And then do it! Carpe Diem - Sieze the day! Count your blessings, not your misfortunes. Be ready to grab the opportunities that life is willing to offer. The attitudes and outlooks in your present affect your future. Positive thinking or negative thinking ... which do you want to carry you into your future?
Sometimes bad things happen that we cannot do anything about. Or that we wish we had. That is part of life. And some problems cannot be fixed. "Could-a, should-a, would-a" will never fix them. If we're smart, we learn from the things that happened, good and bad. We do what is needed to move past bad feelings and regret. To deal with our sorrows and remorse. We prepare ourselves for bad happenings, as best we can. Sometimes good things happen too. And these things need to be welcomed and recognized. Do you live for better times? Or are you too caught up in the bad to even see them?
**********
One of my favorite acts from the script of Walt Disney's The Lion King...
[Hakuna Matata Scene]
Camera switch to Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba near a pool of water in an oasis. Simba has been laid near the water. Timon splashes some water in Simba's face. Simba stirs.
Timon: "You okay, kid?"
Simba: "I guess so."
Pumbaa: "You nearly died."
Timon: "I saved you."
Pumbaa snorts at Timon
Timon: "Well, Pumbaa helped."
Pumbaa stands a little taller
Timon: "A little."
Simba: sadly "Thanks for your help."
Simba heads quietly back out towards the desert.
Timon: "Hey, where you going?"
Simba: "Nowhere."
Timon: watching Simba, talking to Pumbaa "Gee. He looks blue."
Pumbaa: "I'd say brownish-gold."
Timon: "No, no, no. I mean he's depressed."
Pumbaa: "Oh."
Pumbaa trots up to Simba
Pumbaa: "Kid, what's eatin' you?"
Timon: "Nothing he's at the top of the food chain. Ahhhhh - ha ha ha ha. The food cha-haain. Heh heh." realizing his joke flopped "Ah - ahem. So... where you from?"
Simba: "Who cares? I can't go back."
Timon: "Ahh. You're an outcast. That's great; so are we."
Pumbaa: "Whatcha do, kid?"
Simba: "Something terrible. But I don't want to talk about it."
Timon: "Good. We don't want to hear about it."
Pumbaa: to Timon "Come on, Timon." to Simba "Anything we can do?"
Simba: "Not unless you can change the past."
Pumbaa: "You know kid, in times like this my buddy Timon here says: You gotta put your behind in your past."
Timon: "No, no, no."
Pumbaa: "I mean..."
Timon: "Amateur. Lie down before you hurt yourself. It's: You got to put your past behind you. Look kid. Bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it, right?"
Simba: "Right."
Timon: "Wrong! When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world!"
Simba: "Well that's not what I was taught."
Timon: "Then maybe you need a new lesson. Repeat after me." clears throat "Hakuna Matata."
Simba: "What?"
Pumbaa: "Ha-ku-na Ma-ta-ta. It means: no worries."
Full song, no fade in except Marimba chords
Timon: "Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase!"
Pumbaa: "Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze!"
Timon: "It means no worries,
For the rest of your days!"
Timon and Pumbaa: "It's our problem-free,
Philosophy..."
Timon: "Hakuna Matata!"
Spoken section over background music
Simba: "Hakuna Matata?"
Pumbaa: "Yeah; it's our motto."
Simba: "What's a motto?"
Timon: "Nothing! What's a motto with you? Hahahah..."
Pumbaa: "You know what kid? These two words will solve all your problems."
**********
My own Hakuna Matata has a slightly different meaning. When the world turns its back on you, you seek the best in you. The world doesn't decide who you are, you decide what your world is. Look to the future for hope. Don't forget the past, learn your valuable lessons from it and move on. Your life is what you make of it. What you end up with depends on what you bring. Aspirations and a good dose of levity never hurts...
OK, who wants to be the first to tell me that I was predestined to write this...?
My personal philosophy about destiny is based on beliefs that the past cannot be changed, and the future holds a myriad of possible outcomes. You exist in your present, which is the nexus where your immediate future is becoming your immediate past. Your present holds your focus of awareness. You can and should learn from your past, but the past has become known and unchangeable. The future is uncertain until you get there. In this way, your future is what you make of the present as it becomes your past. We each control our actions within the limitations allowed by our lives at present, which is ever moving into our future. And so we guide our destiny. The point in time and space from which we steer our lives onward is the present that we have steered ourselves to... The progression of our lives in time is continuous and time never stops no matter how badly we'd like it to.
To me, the knowledge that we can visualize and work to achieve future goals validates the belief that we control our destinies. Along with our knowledge of achievements made because of decisions we deliberately made.
This, in part, is why I have little sympathy for the "poor, poor, pitiful me" mentality. If someone isn't trying to make the best of their life, well, they aren't likely to have a very good life. Plain and simple. If someone is caught up in feeling sorry for themselves and trying to get others to feel sympathy, they are only working to prove their failure. They need to move beyond the "why is this happening to me?", stop blaming it on life's misfortunes and start asking "what can I do to make the best of my future?". And then do it! Carpe Diem - Sieze the day! Count your blessings, not your misfortunes. Be ready to grab the opportunities that life is willing to offer. The attitudes and outlooks in your present affect your future. Positive thinking or negative thinking ... which do you want to carry you into your future?
Sometimes bad things happen that we cannot do anything about. Or that we wish we had. That is part of life. And some problems cannot be fixed. "Could-a, should-a, would-a" will never fix them. If we're smart, we learn from the things that happened, good and bad. We do what is needed to move past bad feelings and regret. To deal with our sorrows and remorse. We prepare ourselves for bad happenings, as best we can. Sometimes good things happen too. And these things need to be welcomed and recognized. Do you live for better times? Or are you too caught up in the bad to even see them?
**********
One of my favorite acts from the script of Walt Disney's The Lion King...
[Hakuna Matata Scene]
Camera switch to Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba near a pool of water in an oasis. Simba has been laid near the water. Timon splashes some water in Simba's face. Simba stirs.
Timon: "You okay, kid?"
Simba: "I guess so."
Pumbaa: "You nearly died."
Timon: "I saved you."
Pumbaa snorts at Timon
Timon: "Well, Pumbaa helped."
Pumbaa stands a little taller
Timon: "A little."
Simba: sadly "Thanks for your help."
Simba heads quietly back out towards the desert.
Timon: "Hey, where you going?"
Simba: "Nowhere."
Timon: watching Simba, talking to Pumbaa "Gee. He looks blue."
Pumbaa: "I'd say brownish-gold."
Timon: "No, no, no. I mean he's depressed."
Pumbaa: "Oh."
Pumbaa trots up to Simba
Pumbaa: "Kid, what's eatin' you?"
Timon: "Nothing he's at the top of the food chain. Ahhhhh - ha ha ha ha. The food cha-haain. Heh heh." realizing his joke flopped "Ah - ahem. So... where you from?"
Simba: "Who cares? I can't go back."
Timon: "Ahh. You're an outcast. That's great; so are we."
Pumbaa: "Whatcha do, kid?"
Simba: "Something terrible. But I don't want to talk about it."
Timon: "Good. We don't want to hear about it."
Pumbaa: to Timon "Come on, Timon." to Simba "Anything we can do?"
Simba: "Not unless you can change the past."
Pumbaa: "You know kid, in times like this my buddy Timon here says: You gotta put your behind in your past."
Timon: "No, no, no."
Pumbaa: "I mean..."
Timon: "Amateur. Lie down before you hurt yourself. It's: You got to put your past behind you. Look kid. Bad things happen, and you can't do anything about it, right?"
Simba: "Right."
Timon: "Wrong! When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world!"
Simba: "Well that's not what I was taught."
Timon: "Then maybe you need a new lesson. Repeat after me." clears throat "Hakuna Matata."
Simba: "What?"
Pumbaa: "Ha-ku-na Ma-ta-ta. It means: no worries."
Full song, no fade in except Marimba chords
Timon: "Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase!"
Pumbaa: "Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze!"
Timon: "It means no worries,
For the rest of your days!"
Timon and Pumbaa: "It's our problem-free,
Philosophy..."
Timon: "Hakuna Matata!"
Spoken section over background music
Simba: "Hakuna Matata?"
Pumbaa: "Yeah; it's our motto."
Simba: "What's a motto?"
Timon: "Nothing! What's a motto with you? Hahahah..."
Pumbaa: "You know what kid? These two words will solve all your problems."
**********
My own Hakuna Matata has a slightly different meaning. When the world turns its back on you, you seek the best in you. The world doesn't decide who you are, you decide what your world is. Look to the future for hope. Don't forget the past, learn your valuable lessons from it and move on. Your life is what you make of it. What you end up with depends on what you bring. Aspirations and a good dose of levity never hurts...
OK, who wants to be the first to tell me that I was predestined to write this...?
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
LLA - The Ladybug Liberation Army
I like to think that my youngest daughter is just following a calling. Which at this point is the rescue of wayward ladybugs.
The other day we were at a park tossing a ball back and forth. I frequently had to stop as she herded some newly spotted ladybug out of harms way. And at school, she checks the classroom's fancy bug house first thing in the morning to make sure there are no ladybugs stuck inside. She confided to me that along with another girl she has been freeing them outside. Oh my, she has co-conspirators...
occasionally a ladybug will find its way into our house. She will coax it onto her hand for relocation outside. Her determination is strong. Ladybugs are not bugs to be squashed. A ladybug death is a sad event. But earwig and other crawlers are "Ewwwww!". Yucky bugs are left to daddy - the spider and other creepy bug wrangler.
If years from now you hear that my daughter is the ringleader of a notorious activist group ... well, it all started here.
I like to think that my youngest daughter is just following a calling. Which at this point is the rescue of wayward ladybugs.
The other day we were at a park tossing a ball back and forth. I frequently had to stop as she herded some newly spotted ladybug out of harms way. And at school, she checks the classroom's fancy bug house first thing in the morning to make sure there are no ladybugs stuck inside. She confided to me that along with another girl she has been freeing them outside. Oh my, she has co-conspirators...
occasionally a ladybug will find its way into our house. She will coax it onto her hand for relocation outside. Her determination is strong. Ladybugs are not bugs to be squashed. A ladybug death is a sad event. But earwig and other crawlers are "Ewwwww!". Yucky bugs are left to daddy - the spider and other creepy bug wrangler.
If years from now you hear that my daughter is the ringleader of a notorious activist group ... well, it all started here.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
The Commute
Some years ago I worked with a gentleman who was dropped off at work every morning and picked up every evening by his wife. He never had a car at work. During a conversation, he mentioned that she spent the day at home and didn't work. I raised a question, "Don't you drive?". He grinned a big grin as he told me that his wife dropped him off and picked him up because together they could use the carpool lane (also called a commuter lane or ride sharing), which was much faster getting to and from work than driving alone...
I can fully understand his reasoning. He had found a way to get to work quicker and with less stress. By having his wife make the trip so that together they could use the carpool lane. Not exactly the intent of "carpooling". Which brings me to my point.
Carpool lanes don't work. Carpool lanes are a fraudulent deceit. Especially around here.
The purpose of carpool lanes is supposedly to encourage carpooling. This means having multiple people who would normally drive alone share their commutes in a single vehicle. This would reduce traffic congestion by reducing the number of drivers and vehicles on the road. In principle, everyone agrees this is a good idea.
In my colleague's case, he used it as a chauffeur lane. He actually doubled his contribution to traffic. Likewise, I'm sure taxi and other professional drivers are happy to use the carpool lane for expediency with their passengers.
I use the carpool lane when I take my kids to school in the morning. Am I reducing the number of cars on the road? Not at all. As I watch other cars in the carpool lane, I see many with one adult shuttling kid(s). And so, we use it as a kidpool lane. Carpool moms love this. Wow! There is actually a benefit to having the kids in the car.
I also see many cases of a single person in a car buzzing along watching for police. So it is a "scofflaw watching for a traffic fine" lane. There are even amusing cases locally of people getting caught using lifelike dummies or mannequins in the passenger seats of their car.
And I admittedly see many vehicles with 2 or more people of driving age. But this begs the question. How many of them are actually driving together to reduce traffic? Which of them wouldn't be carpooling otherwise? Granted there must be a few legitimate corpoolers, but from my observations and experience I would have to argue that they are in the minority. I see many work crews, construction, and professional service vehicles that would normally have more than one person.
There are just too many reasons not to carpool. Convenience, privacy, flexibility, control, and security to name some. So the idea of carpooling has a lot of good intent, but in practice becomes "what everyone else should do".
Carpool lanes are a fraudulent deceit because the expense of creating and maintaining them was justified as a way to reduce traffic by getting more people to drive fewer cars. This has not happened to any notable degree. Instead, it makes a lane of traffic unavailable to the vast majority of drivers, increasing traffic congestion in the remaining lanes. Something that was justified as a way to reduce traffic congestion actually increases it? Yep.
On a somewhat positive note, it does reward those who do carpool, along with the chauffeurs, shuttle-parents, work crews, and all the scofflaws who aren't caught...
Some years ago I worked with a gentleman who was dropped off at work every morning and picked up every evening by his wife. He never had a car at work. During a conversation, he mentioned that she spent the day at home and didn't work. I raised a question, "Don't you drive?". He grinned a big grin as he told me that his wife dropped him off and picked him up because together they could use the carpool lane (also called a commuter lane or ride sharing), which was much faster getting to and from work than driving alone...
I can fully understand his reasoning. He had found a way to get to work quicker and with less stress. By having his wife make the trip so that together they could use the carpool lane. Not exactly the intent of "carpooling". Which brings me to my point.
Carpool lanes don't work. Carpool lanes are a fraudulent deceit. Especially around here.
The purpose of carpool lanes is supposedly to encourage carpooling. This means having multiple people who would normally drive alone share their commutes in a single vehicle. This would reduce traffic congestion by reducing the number of drivers and vehicles on the road. In principle, everyone agrees this is a good idea.
In my colleague's case, he used it as a chauffeur lane. He actually doubled his contribution to traffic. Likewise, I'm sure taxi and other professional drivers are happy to use the carpool lane for expediency with their passengers.
I use the carpool lane when I take my kids to school in the morning. Am I reducing the number of cars on the road? Not at all. As I watch other cars in the carpool lane, I see many with one adult shuttling kid(s). And so, we use it as a kidpool lane. Carpool moms love this. Wow! There is actually a benefit to having the kids in the car.
I also see many cases of a single person in a car buzzing along watching for police. So it is a "scofflaw watching for a traffic fine" lane. There are even amusing cases locally of people getting caught using lifelike dummies or mannequins in the passenger seats of their car.
And I admittedly see many vehicles with 2 or more people of driving age. But this begs the question. How many of them are actually driving together to reduce traffic? Which of them wouldn't be carpooling otherwise? Granted there must be a few legitimate corpoolers, but from my observations and experience I would have to argue that they are in the minority. I see many work crews, construction, and professional service vehicles that would normally have more than one person.
There are just too many reasons not to carpool. Convenience, privacy, flexibility, control, and security to name some. So the idea of carpooling has a lot of good intent, but in practice becomes "what everyone else should do".
Carpool lanes are a fraudulent deceit because the expense of creating and maintaining them was justified as a way to reduce traffic by getting more people to drive fewer cars. This has not happened to any notable degree. Instead, it makes a lane of traffic unavailable to the vast majority of drivers, increasing traffic congestion in the remaining lanes. Something that was justified as a way to reduce traffic congestion actually increases it? Yep.
On a somewhat positive note, it does reward those who do carpool, along with the chauffeurs, shuttle-parents, work crews, and all the scofflaws who aren't caught...
Monday, April 19, 2004
Parenting 101
Every morning I have a cup of coffee. I use a French Coffee Press which means I boil some water in a teapot, pour it into a glass cylinder along with some ground coffee, and then use a fancy screened widget to push the mud down so I can pour out ...my coffee...
So, every morning I put the teapot on the stove to heat. About a week ago, after the teapot started to whistle, I asked my eldest daughter to turn off the stove.
Now, my wife and I had taught our daughters that the stove was dangerous. They don't touch it. It isn't to be played with. It is dangerous ... and so my daughter had no idea how to turn it off.
With that came the realization that we had been delinquent as parents. It would be OK for them to not know how to turn it on, but they certainly needed to know how to turn the stove off.
So I held a short class in how to turn the stove off. They each got a turn to do it.
It seems like such a simple thing to make any fuss over, until you realize it isn't about working a stove. It is about understanding stove safety. Being prepared for the possible danger. Knowing what to do. Sheltering them from the stove only prevented that safety.
So now, when the teapot starts whistling the girls rush in to ask me if they can turn it off. OK, so long as they're careful.
...being too sheltered from the dangerous often means not being prepared to face the dangerous...
Every morning I have a cup of coffee. I use a French Coffee Press which means I boil some water in a teapot, pour it into a glass cylinder along with some ground coffee, and then use a fancy screened widget to push the mud down so I can pour out ...my coffee...
So, every morning I put the teapot on the stove to heat. About a week ago, after the teapot started to whistle, I asked my eldest daughter to turn off the stove.
Now, my wife and I had taught our daughters that the stove was dangerous. They don't touch it. It isn't to be played with. It is dangerous ... and so my daughter had no idea how to turn it off.
With that came the realization that we had been delinquent as parents. It would be OK for them to not know how to turn it on, but they certainly needed to know how to turn the stove off.
So I held a short class in how to turn the stove off. They each got a turn to do it.
It seems like such a simple thing to make any fuss over, until you realize it isn't about working a stove. It is about understanding stove safety. Being prepared for the possible danger. Knowing what to do. Sheltering them from the stove only prevented that safety.
So now, when the teapot starts whistling the girls rush in to ask me if they can turn it off. OK, so long as they're careful.
...being too sheltered from the dangerous often means not being prepared to face the dangerous...
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
The Cutesy Files
I take care of getting the kids up, ready and to school in the morning. My wife leaves for work before they get up, leaving me to face that challenge alone. And as part of our routine I give the kids a quick breakfast and prepare their lunches. They love bagels in the morning for breakfast. Cut in half, toasted and slathered with cream cheese. Or with butter or jelly in a pinch.
So one morning, after putting a bagel in the toaster I start making sandwiches. My littlest one comes to me and says "Daddy. I don't want the crust. Please cut it off". "What?" I spouted "I thought you liked crust..." And then the other one chimed in asking if I would remove her crust too...
The great crust dilemma. I had heard of it. Now I was facing it. All it takes is one crust shirker at school, and the other kids get infected...
Fortunately, the toaster popped the bagel. I told them "If you don't like crust, then you don't like bagels". They paused in thought and I continued "Look at the bagel. It has crust all the way around. If you don't like crust, then you can't like bagels". Well, that led to a reversal of thinking. They decided it would be better to have their sandwiches with crust.
Saved by the bagel...
I take care of getting the kids up, ready and to school in the morning. My wife leaves for work before they get up, leaving me to face that challenge alone. And as part of our routine I give the kids a quick breakfast and prepare their lunches. They love bagels in the morning for breakfast. Cut in half, toasted and slathered with cream cheese. Or with butter or jelly in a pinch.
So one morning, after putting a bagel in the toaster I start making sandwiches. My littlest one comes to me and says "Daddy. I don't want the crust. Please cut it off". "What?" I spouted "I thought you liked crust..." And then the other one chimed in asking if I would remove her crust too...
The great crust dilemma. I had heard of it. Now I was facing it. All it takes is one crust shirker at school, and the other kids get infected...
Fortunately, the toaster popped the bagel. I told them "If you don't like crust, then you don't like bagels". They paused in thought and I continued "Look at the bagel. It has crust all the way around. If you don't like crust, then you can't like bagels". Well, that led to a reversal of thinking. They decided it would be better to have their sandwiches with crust.
Saved by the bagel...
Monday, April 05, 2004
Take a Trip to Another World
A colleague who does business in China recently expressed how difficult it is to find gifts for his Chinese business clients. So much here in the US says "Made in China" on it.
Travel abroad is a wonderful thing. If you take the time to look around the world and set aside your preconceived ideas and biases, you really can get glimpses into other worlds.
Years ago I delivered a training class in China to go along with some expensive hardware they bought for one of their institutes. It helped that all of the Engineers I was training were foreign educated. Mostly in US colleges. And it helped that I had plenty of free time to tour and observe.
This was in Chungdu China. Located about as central in China as you can get. The last stop before Tibet.
When I first arrived at the institute, I noticed a group of men and women with hammers and chisels working on a section of the sidewalk. I looked inquisitive enough that my host let me know that they were taking out a section of the sidewalk to put in a driveway for the institute parking lot. They had been working for about a week and were about halfway done. He must have known my thoughts, because he added that in China, it was more important to keep the people employed then it was to get the job done quickly. This was food for thought. So whereas in the US we would have a couple guys watching another guy with a jackhammer or backhoe take out the drive in about half a day, in China they kept six people with hammers, chisels, and a wheelbarrow chipping away at it for two weeks or more.
But then, their lifestyle didn't have all the encumbrances we take for granted. Even the well-to-do engineers didn't have cars. No payments, no insurance ... no overhead. They rode bicycles. They didn't have to pay to support the idle unemployed. Their expectations of life were different. And their outlooks. The pace of their lives and the way they interacted was notably different. It was truly another world. And it is tough to be a fair judge of what is better or worse when your bias comes from your own.
Are the Chinese stealing our jobs? Or are they just more willing and able to do them for less?
There are two ways to be rich: make more - desire less
A colleague who does business in China recently expressed how difficult it is to find gifts for his Chinese business clients. So much here in the US says "Made in China" on it.
Travel abroad is a wonderful thing. If you take the time to look around the world and set aside your preconceived ideas and biases, you really can get glimpses into other worlds.
Years ago I delivered a training class in China to go along with some expensive hardware they bought for one of their institutes. It helped that all of the Engineers I was training were foreign educated. Mostly in US colleges. And it helped that I had plenty of free time to tour and observe.
This was in Chungdu China. Located about as central in China as you can get. The last stop before Tibet.
When I first arrived at the institute, I noticed a group of men and women with hammers and chisels working on a section of the sidewalk. I looked inquisitive enough that my host let me know that they were taking out a section of the sidewalk to put in a driveway for the institute parking lot. They had been working for about a week and were about halfway done. He must have known my thoughts, because he added that in China, it was more important to keep the people employed then it was to get the job done quickly. This was food for thought. So whereas in the US we would have a couple guys watching another guy with a jackhammer or backhoe take out the drive in about half a day, in China they kept six people with hammers, chisels, and a wheelbarrow chipping away at it for two weeks or more.
But then, their lifestyle didn't have all the encumbrances we take for granted. Even the well-to-do engineers didn't have cars. No payments, no insurance ... no overhead. They rode bicycles. They didn't have to pay to support the idle unemployed. Their expectations of life were different. And their outlooks. The pace of their lives and the way they interacted was notably different. It was truly another world. And it is tough to be a fair judge of what is better or worse when your bias comes from your own.
Are the Chinese stealing our jobs? Or are they just more willing and able to do them for less?
There are two ways to be rich: make more - desire less
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Leave the Being Old to Other People...
There is a local story, possibly nothing more than an urban legend that goes:
At the local upscale college-town shopping area near here, a local woman saw a parking spot and was maneuvering her luxury sedan to pull into it when a college kid in a small sports car zips into the space. She rolls down the window to call out "You took my spot". He replies "That's what you do when you're younger and quicker". She puts her car into the space, crunching his, gets out, and says "Well that's what you do when you're older and richer...".
So ... at what point are you old?
Is it when you "lose" your quickness? Is it when you achieve a certain level of status or maturity? Is it when you become annoyed with "youth"?
Does it come as a revelation one day when you look in the mirror and realize you are looking at an older man or woman? Does it happen one day when gravity just seems heavier or temperatures just seem more uncomfortable? Is it when you realize you have left the "follies" of your own youth behind?
Is it when you start saying things that start with "back when I was..."? Is it when you "lose" that youthful figure?
While none of us are getting any younger, being "old" is a relative concept. Aging happens gradually. Time is relentless. And at some point everyone surrenders to the idea of being older.
But that doesn't mean you have to surrender to being old. Old is very much a state of mind. You will get older naturally, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to being old...
My dear wife is getting younger. That's right. No, she hasn't figured out a way to cheat time. She has found a way to resist being old.
A couple of months ago she started an exercise program at a local women's club. A place where they have a set workout routine and ordering of exercises, and where they track her progress. At first I was skeptical that this would be ineffective and short lived. But she was determined and persisted. And her progress shows. She lost some inches, toned, and firmed up. Things often associated with youth and given up with age. And it shows not just in looks, but in behavior. She feels better.
Sometimes she comes back jubilant with her newest measurements. Sometimes with a bit of gloom at a setback. But as long as she stays determined, she is winning.
Beauty in youth is like a blooming flower and can quickly fade. Beauty with age comes from within. When seeking the fountain of youth, you sometimes need look no further than your own state of mind...
There is a local story, possibly nothing more than an urban legend that goes:
At the local upscale college-town shopping area near here, a local woman saw a parking spot and was maneuvering her luxury sedan to pull into it when a college kid in a small sports car zips into the space. She rolls down the window to call out "You took my spot". He replies "That's what you do when you're younger and quicker". She puts her car into the space, crunching his, gets out, and says "Well that's what you do when you're older and richer...".
So ... at what point are you old?
Is it when you "lose" your quickness? Is it when you achieve a certain level of status or maturity? Is it when you become annoyed with "youth"?
Does it come as a revelation one day when you look in the mirror and realize you are looking at an older man or woman? Does it happen one day when gravity just seems heavier or temperatures just seem more uncomfortable? Is it when you realize you have left the "follies" of your own youth behind?
Is it when you start saying things that start with "back when I was..."? Is it when you "lose" that youthful figure?
While none of us are getting any younger, being "old" is a relative concept. Aging happens gradually. Time is relentless. And at some point everyone surrenders to the idea of being older.
But that doesn't mean you have to surrender to being old. Old is very much a state of mind. You will get older naturally, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to being old...
My dear wife is getting younger. That's right. No, she hasn't figured out a way to cheat time. She has found a way to resist being old.
A couple of months ago she started an exercise program at a local women's club. A place where they have a set workout routine and ordering of exercises, and where they track her progress. At first I was skeptical that this would be ineffective and short lived. But she was determined and persisted. And her progress shows. She lost some inches, toned, and firmed up. Things often associated with youth and given up with age. And it shows not just in looks, but in behavior. She feels better.
Sometimes she comes back jubilant with her newest measurements. Sometimes with a bit of gloom at a setback. But as long as she stays determined, she is winning.
Beauty in youth is like a blooming flower and can quickly fade. Beauty with age comes from within. When seeking the fountain of youth, you sometimes need look no further than your own state of mind...
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
The Prodigal Sister...
or Is the Grasshopper Learning Life's Lessons...?
My parents were blessed with many children. Seven altogether. It is my fortune to be an eldest son. I was followed in short order by several sisters. What follows is about my eldest little sister.
Of us siblings, my eldest little sister always embodied her own ideals of Carpe Diem the best. Seize the day! And then the night too! In high school she was a very active member of the party animal crowd. No stranger to social revelry and debauchery. Fortunate to have graduated... And so the biblical Prodigal Son story starts to have relevant meaning. While I was "setting the example", being studious, getting good grades and earning a college degree, working, saving, and buying my first house, she was out enjoying life's pleasures. Her current situation is very much the outcome of her own choices and actions. But then this is a truth for most of us.
In all fairness, she now has many notable achievements and has done well for herself in many ways. She has grown as a person. What I might consider irresponsible behavior for myself, most people would accept of her as responsible when considering modern lifestyles. We all have different priorities and it shows up in our lives. My sister and I have each done very well for ourselves, but in much different ways.
My parents are now retired. And as age and the past catches up with all of us, my sister found that she was the only one of their kids who didn't own a house. From my vantage, this isn't through any misfortune or hardship on her part. It is because of her decisions and the life she chose to live. She had no down payment for a house. So she convinced my Dad to help her buy a property and build a house. My Dad provided half the money and my sister used that as collateral for a loan for her half. She and her husband are making good progress in the construction. They have embraced a new level of responsibility.
Hopefully the similarities to the prodigal son story are clearer. My sister went out to seek her fortunes and experience life. She had many enjoyable experiences and spent her money and effort along the way. While I was working hard in college and in my career, while I sacrificed and saved to buy a house, she chose another path. As her age and choices caught up with her, she had little to show. My prodigal sister has come back to our Dad for help...
My Mom and Dad have said that this won't cause them any hardship. That my sister is effectively just getting her share of the inheritance early. And this gives the prodigal story comparison a bit of a twist. For starts, to me it is not her inheritance, it is their retirement funds. And to me that means a cushion of monies for my parents to live on and enjoy. Funds to be there in case the unforeseen happens. To say that any of their estate is my sister's inheritance before the fact is a contrived justification to me. Early on they referred to this as an investment. Investing in real estate partnerships is a long term commitment with limited liquidity when the funds are needed. So another contrived justification. And several other "rationalizations" that don't quite make good sense. And this brings the question of how much of this is my sister's persuasion.
As eldest brother, I have a special family perspective. I hear the grumbling from my other brothers and sisters. We grew up with this sister and experienced first hand the manipulations and deceits she managed on my parents. Some things my parents will never know... And so there is a healthy dose of skepticism, and even some resentment. While I can see how this venture has pulled my Dad and Sister closer again, I can only hope my parents see how it also raises questions and suspicions.
Somewhere in all of this is a lesson that my Dad needs to learn. One that he should have learned years ago and maybe now is getting another chance to learn. And I think my eldest little sister has learned much along the way, but still has much to learn. But then, don't we all...
I hope the best for my parents and for my eldest little sister. Maybe that proverbial grasshopper that played while the ant toiled is learning ... with some help.
or Is the Grasshopper Learning Life's Lessons...?
My parents were blessed with many children. Seven altogether. It is my fortune to be an eldest son. I was followed in short order by several sisters. What follows is about my eldest little sister.
Of us siblings, my eldest little sister always embodied her own ideals of Carpe Diem the best. Seize the day! And then the night too! In high school she was a very active member of the party animal crowd. No stranger to social revelry and debauchery. Fortunate to have graduated... And so the biblical Prodigal Son story starts to have relevant meaning. While I was "setting the example", being studious, getting good grades and earning a college degree, working, saving, and buying my first house, she was out enjoying life's pleasures. Her current situation is very much the outcome of her own choices and actions. But then this is a truth for most of us.
In all fairness, she now has many notable achievements and has done well for herself in many ways. She has grown as a person. What I might consider irresponsible behavior for myself, most people would accept of her as responsible when considering modern lifestyles. We all have different priorities and it shows up in our lives. My sister and I have each done very well for ourselves, but in much different ways.
My parents are now retired. And as age and the past catches up with all of us, my sister found that she was the only one of their kids who didn't own a house. From my vantage, this isn't through any misfortune or hardship on her part. It is because of her decisions and the life she chose to live. She had no down payment for a house. So she convinced my Dad to help her buy a property and build a house. My Dad provided half the money and my sister used that as collateral for a loan for her half. She and her husband are making good progress in the construction. They have embraced a new level of responsibility.
Hopefully the similarities to the prodigal son story are clearer. My sister went out to seek her fortunes and experience life. She had many enjoyable experiences and spent her money and effort along the way. While I was working hard in college and in my career, while I sacrificed and saved to buy a house, she chose another path. As her age and choices caught up with her, she had little to show. My prodigal sister has come back to our Dad for help...
My Mom and Dad have said that this won't cause them any hardship. That my sister is effectively just getting her share of the inheritance early. And this gives the prodigal story comparison a bit of a twist. For starts, to me it is not her inheritance, it is their retirement funds. And to me that means a cushion of monies for my parents to live on and enjoy. Funds to be there in case the unforeseen happens. To say that any of their estate is my sister's inheritance before the fact is a contrived justification to me. Early on they referred to this as an investment. Investing in real estate partnerships is a long term commitment with limited liquidity when the funds are needed. So another contrived justification. And several other "rationalizations" that don't quite make good sense. And this brings the question of how much of this is my sister's persuasion.
As eldest brother, I have a special family perspective. I hear the grumbling from my other brothers and sisters. We grew up with this sister and experienced first hand the manipulations and deceits she managed on my parents. Some things my parents will never know... And so there is a healthy dose of skepticism, and even some resentment. While I can see how this venture has pulled my Dad and Sister closer again, I can only hope my parents see how it also raises questions and suspicions.
Somewhere in all of this is a lesson that my Dad needs to learn. One that he should have learned years ago and maybe now is getting another chance to learn. And I think my eldest little sister has learned much along the way, but still has much to learn. But then, don't we all...
I hope the best for my parents and for my eldest little sister. Maybe that proverbial grasshopper that played while the ant toiled is learning ... with some help.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
The Cutesy Files
This morning, my gradeschool daughter asked "Daddy, when you were my age, did you play a game called bugdom?"...
Now I didn't recall a game by that name. But the question brought back fond memories of all the playground games, along with all the old card and board games I used to play when I was her age. And I know that some of the games kids play now are the same, but with different names.
"Maybe... How do you play it?" was my following question. "Oh" she said, more than eager to explain... "You hunt through the maze and use the left mouse button to open walnuts and....."...
I had to explain to her that when I was her age, people didn't have computers at home. None. No computers at work unless it was a really big computer and they didn't have games on them. Hard to conceptualize today. Almost like the "we didn't have television" stories I used to hear when I was her age and nod understandingly to, while unable to fully appreciate the concept because there had always been TVs in my world.
**********
Spring has come early and with a vengeance. We went from winter storms to calm warm days in a matter of days. This morning the youngest was having trouble finding pants to wear. "Pssst, you can wear shorts today" I said in a half whisper... Her face went from troubled pout to bright beam as she spouted a jubilant "I can?" ...Yes, the sun came out in that room today...
This morning, my gradeschool daughter asked "Daddy, when you were my age, did you play a game called bugdom?"...
Now I didn't recall a game by that name. But the question brought back fond memories of all the playground games, along with all the old card and board games I used to play when I was her age. And I know that some of the games kids play now are the same, but with different names.
"Maybe... How do you play it?" was my following question. "Oh" she said, more than eager to explain... "You hunt through the maze and use the left mouse button to open walnuts and....."...
I had to explain to her that when I was her age, people didn't have computers at home. None. No computers at work unless it was a really big computer and they didn't have games on them. Hard to conceptualize today. Almost like the "we didn't have television" stories I used to hear when I was her age and nod understandingly to, while unable to fully appreciate the concept because there had always been TVs in my world.
**********
Spring has come early and with a vengeance. We went from winter storms to calm warm days in a matter of days. This morning the youngest was having trouble finding pants to wear. "Pssst, you can wear shorts today" I said in a half whisper... Her face went from troubled pout to bright beam as she spouted a jubilant "I can?" ...Yes, the sun came out in that room today...
Saturday, March 06, 2004
To SUV or not to SUV...
I recently got pulled into one of those conversations lambasting SUVs and their owners. Actually, nobody pulled me in, the topic did.
Now, I do not own an SUV, and so I guess the natural tendency was to join in the 'basting. But instead I got caught up in the ironies of the whole conversation. All the little gas guzzlers picking on the big gas guzzlers. It reminded me of a flock of little sparrows trying to chase the big crow out of their sky.
They waste fuel, they're space hogs, they're destroying our natural areas going where they shouldn't, they're rude, you can't see around them, they make life miserable in parking lots and for other more consciencious drivers in general...
And someone who has an SUV pointed out that they need theirs for its utility and ruggedness. They need the capabilities it provides. But then the "well, what about" arguments came up about the "status" buyers. The Hummer Moms whose toughest challenge is taking the kids to school and the biggest load being groceries.
It is most telling when you consider the term "luxury SUV". It is like saying "luxury fun construction vehicle". I find the term almost comedic. Like someone arguing they need heated leather seats in their dump truck.
So when does a vehicle make the crossover to wasteful extravagance? Is there a reasonable amount of room or weight or fuel that a person should be limited to? Would a Recreational Vehicle (camper) used as a daily commuter be in the same "extravagance" category as an SUV? Some RVs would seem like economy vehicles compared to some of the SUVs currently on the road.
Or will this take a natural course similar to the demise of the luxury sedans, station wagons, and full sized vans that were popular in the late 60s and early 70s when gas prices jumped? Will the market change once again driven by some dynamic influence like fuel prices or legislation? Time will tell ... my bet is ... yes, change is inevitable.
I recently got pulled into one of those conversations lambasting SUVs and their owners. Actually, nobody pulled me in, the topic did.
Now, I do not own an SUV, and so I guess the natural tendency was to join in the 'basting. But instead I got caught up in the ironies of the whole conversation. All the little gas guzzlers picking on the big gas guzzlers. It reminded me of a flock of little sparrows trying to chase the big crow out of their sky.
They waste fuel, they're space hogs, they're destroying our natural areas going where they shouldn't, they're rude, you can't see around them, they make life miserable in parking lots and for other more consciencious drivers in general...
And someone who has an SUV pointed out that they need theirs for its utility and ruggedness. They need the capabilities it provides. But then the "well, what about" arguments came up about the "status" buyers. The Hummer Moms whose toughest challenge is taking the kids to school and the biggest load being groceries.
It is most telling when you consider the term "luxury SUV". It is like saying "luxury fun construction vehicle". I find the term almost comedic. Like someone arguing they need heated leather seats in their dump truck.
So when does a vehicle make the crossover to wasteful extravagance? Is there a reasonable amount of room or weight or fuel that a person should be limited to? Would a Recreational Vehicle (camper) used as a daily commuter be in the same "extravagance" category as an SUV? Some RVs would seem like economy vehicles compared to some of the SUVs currently on the road.
Or will this take a natural course similar to the demise of the luxury sedans, station wagons, and full sized vans that were popular in the late 60s and early 70s when gas prices jumped? Will the market change once again driven by some dynamic influence like fuel prices or legislation? Time will tell ... my bet is ... yes, change is inevitable.
Monday, March 01, 2004
The Valentines Day Lesson
Some lessons can only be learned the hard way...
In preparing for this past Valentines day, I set up the plans for an evening out and for taking care of the kids. And I had a novel idea... I told my DW that I would take her out for a nice dinner - if I could dress her. I was planning a relaxed romantic Valentines evening of drinks and dinner at a traditionally favorite spot. I was thinking of her being in something sexier and more daring than usual. Something she wouldn't wear to work. Something she wasn't likely to wear out with just friends. Special. Nothing outrageous, but definitely something more form fitting and showy than the bulky comfy stuff she normally wears. And maybe even more sexy than her "little black dress".
The first lesson was discovering that there are just way too many women's clothing stores. And styles of clothes. And this quickly made the challenge of dressing DW daunting. Where a guy might have different colors of 3 or 4 different kinds of underwear, women have different colors of a myriad of shapes, fabrics, and styles of all sorts of underwear. And shirts, and skirts, and pants, and many things I still can't remember the names of... I would boldly enter the stores, and often emerge feeling like I had just had some mind-boggling other-world experience. But I persisted and learned...
They use strange words. They were very friendly and tried to be helpful. I would be looking at some items on a rack and would be asked if I needed help. "What would a woman normally wear with this" I might ask. "Oh, a schnoopleskirt or a nuffablouse" would come the answer. Occasionally I did recognize some words, like camisole. "But isn't that lingerie?".... "Oh, there are different types". Go figure...
When I saw things on a hanger or mannequin, it was hard to visualize them on DW who was not there. So I looked around the stores and malls. And I watched for women wearing similar stuff. Honestly, I wasn't oggling the women, I was trying to figure out how some of those nuffablouses would look on DW. By this time a dress was out of the question...
Things don't turn out the way they look on models or mannequins. More on this later...
So, after visiting ~30 clothing stores, and getting closer to the day, I bought a collection of garments. I got undergarments in her size. The bra and panties were from a lingerie shop. Not your normal bra and something you would not wear under a see through top. But it was shown as being for lower cut tops or dresses where the bra needs to be out of the way but still do its job. Then I got a very nice woven silk top. Very soft and pleasing to the touch and stretchy. A good opening in the front, but not too far. Still being a colder time of year I decided to get another layer that was soft, warm, and form fitting. I got a cashmere wrap-around to go with the top. And I got a skirt in her size. A soft pressed wool that went down to about the knee. For shoes and other stuff I relied on her current collection.
OK, so the evening came. The bra was the right size, but didn't fit quite as expected. But it wasn't bad either... The silk top was very nice and the wrap looked very good with it. The top was a bit looser than I expected, but was a decent fit. The cashmere wrap-around was a bit awkward at the overlap. The skirt was too big and got set aside for a nice pair of slacks... Oh well.
All things considered, I thought DW looked stunning. Tastefully sexy! Everything went together well, and although she was showing almost as much cleavage as she did in her wedding dress, and although you could see some of the bra if you looked down the middle of her top, it was tastefully sexy.
But during the evening it became evident that she was somewhat uncomfortable with it when she kept trying to adjust the wrap and any compliment was questioned. It becomes incredibly hard to compliment someone when they question the compliment or don't take it as such...
We did have a drink, a relaxed evening and then a very nice Valentines dinner.
A day later ... I heard all about how uncomfortable she felt in the outfit. How she felt on display, cheap, humiliated... Questioning my motives ... my intelligence... And so we learn...
Next time...
It is much better to fit someone for something sexy when they are there. And as a bonus, they can interpret the lingo for you.
It is hard for someone to feel sexy if they don't feel comfortable with what they're wearing (fit, style, or exposure). Surprises aren't the best way of doing this...
While the adventure of dressing DW still seems a good one, using never-before-worn garments got me in trouble...
Some lessons can only be learned the hard way...
In preparing for this past Valentines day, I set up the plans for an evening out and for taking care of the kids. And I had a novel idea... I told my DW that I would take her out for a nice dinner - if I could dress her. I was planning a relaxed romantic Valentines evening of drinks and dinner at a traditionally favorite spot. I was thinking of her being in something sexier and more daring than usual. Something she wouldn't wear to work. Something she wasn't likely to wear out with just friends. Special. Nothing outrageous, but definitely something more form fitting and showy than the bulky comfy stuff she normally wears. And maybe even more sexy than her "little black dress".
The first lesson was discovering that there are just way too many women's clothing stores. And styles of clothes. And this quickly made the challenge of dressing DW daunting. Where a guy might have different colors of 3 or 4 different kinds of underwear, women have different colors of a myriad of shapes, fabrics, and styles of all sorts of underwear. And shirts, and skirts, and pants, and many things I still can't remember the names of... I would boldly enter the stores, and often emerge feeling like I had just had some mind-boggling other-world experience. But I persisted and learned...
They use strange words. They were very friendly and tried to be helpful. I would be looking at some items on a rack and would be asked if I needed help. "What would a woman normally wear with this" I might ask. "Oh, a schnoopleskirt or a nuffablouse" would come the answer. Occasionally I did recognize some words, like camisole. "But isn't that lingerie?".... "Oh, there are different types". Go figure...
When I saw things on a hanger or mannequin, it was hard to visualize them on DW who was not there. So I looked around the stores and malls. And I watched for women wearing similar stuff. Honestly, I wasn't oggling the women, I was trying to figure out how some of those nuffablouses would look on DW. By this time a dress was out of the question...
Things don't turn out the way they look on models or mannequins. More on this later...
So, after visiting ~30 clothing stores, and getting closer to the day, I bought a collection of garments. I got undergarments in her size. The bra and panties were from a lingerie shop. Not your normal bra and something you would not wear under a see through top. But it was shown as being for lower cut tops or dresses where the bra needs to be out of the way but still do its job. Then I got a very nice woven silk top. Very soft and pleasing to the touch and stretchy. A good opening in the front, but not too far. Still being a colder time of year I decided to get another layer that was soft, warm, and form fitting. I got a cashmere wrap-around to go with the top. And I got a skirt in her size. A soft pressed wool that went down to about the knee. For shoes and other stuff I relied on her current collection.
OK, so the evening came. The bra was the right size, but didn't fit quite as expected. But it wasn't bad either... The silk top was very nice and the wrap looked very good with it. The top was a bit looser than I expected, but was a decent fit. The cashmere wrap-around was a bit awkward at the overlap. The skirt was too big and got set aside for a nice pair of slacks... Oh well.
All things considered, I thought DW looked stunning. Tastefully sexy! Everything went together well, and although she was showing almost as much cleavage as she did in her wedding dress, and although you could see some of the bra if you looked down the middle of her top, it was tastefully sexy.
But during the evening it became evident that she was somewhat uncomfortable with it when she kept trying to adjust the wrap and any compliment was questioned. It becomes incredibly hard to compliment someone when they question the compliment or don't take it as such...
We did have a drink, a relaxed evening and then a very nice Valentines dinner.
A day later ... I heard all about how uncomfortable she felt in the outfit. How she felt on display, cheap, humiliated... Questioning my motives ... my intelligence... And so we learn...
Next time...
It is much better to fit someone for something sexy when they are there. And as a bonus, they can interpret the lingo for you.
It is hard for someone to feel sexy if they don't feel comfortable with what they're wearing (fit, style, or exposure). Surprises aren't the best way of doing this...
While the adventure of dressing DW still seems a good one, using never-before-worn garments got me in trouble...
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